Me: I think I’m actually going to post about being romantic. She: Now that’s something I’d like to read… People love to fit things, especially other people, into boxes. It makes sense. We understand the world through contrast and binary. If something’s not good, it’s: ______. If something’s not hot,

We all know that anything that comes out of a woman (other than relentless orgasms) is completely unnatural and disgusting. If that wasn’t the case, then jokes about it would seem hackneyed and unoriginal. But women must really like bleeding out their vag, otherwise why would they spend 11.4% of their lives

Before I even had much sense of what oral sex was (“it’s when you say naughty things into someone else’s ear,” my fellow 6th grader assured me), I knew that going down on a girl was something very unpleasant, something that smelled like fish (turns out Chicken of the Sea is