sex
How to have an epic Broke-Ass Valentine’s Day
They say that Valentine’s Day started to celebrate Saint Valentine of Rome, martyred in 269 AD, then became a sensation in 1797 when a British publisher issued romantic verses for young lovers…
Cheap Dates: Case of Mistaken Identity
People frequently mistake me for being gay. Certainly much more than they mistake me for being a comedian. But despite the fact that I studied theater in college while working at the Gap, living in the co-ops and sucking dick on the side for money, I am neither gay nor bisexual.
Cheap Dates: Super Size Me
I’m not the first and certainly won’t be the last person to write about the importance of male penis size, but hey, dick talk be making it rain hella page views up in this server. Plus, in the wake of the recent size scandal at Subway, it seemed as good a
How to Not Murder Yourself in Portland This Winter
Like most people that live in Portland right now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “the sky is grey, everything is grey, the choices I make get perpetually worse every year, my life is going nowhere, I want to die, is there someone available to take care of
Cheap Dates: Dating and F*cking Like a Broke-Ass Baller
Like many San Franciscans, I am exceptionally poor. As in I’m on Food Stamps poor. As in I had to ask the cashier to void my transaction when I found out Carl’s Jr. couldn’t accept my Food Stamps poor, which was awkward for both me and my date (to be
Avoiding the Holiday Backslide
The holidays are a time where people congregate to their hometowns, reminisce of days past and look for a cozy alternative to an electric blanket (or is that just me?). Feelings of romance resurface and we’re faced with the big decision: to backslide or not to backslide? In case you’re
The Upside of Fall
It’s Fall! Winter’s sneaky little sidekick is creeping up on us quickly. As I write this you may be chopping down a bundle of firewood to get you through the upcoming frozen hell of whatever place you live in. Fall hasn’t reached California yet. We are still blessed with jacket-optional