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We ate the Taco Bell Nacho Fries and it wasn’t the worse thing in our mouths.

Updated: Feb 12, 2018 10:56
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Welcome to, “We ate it, so you don’t have to.”

By now, we should all know that Taco Bell’s answer to Mexicanizing something is to add nacho cheese sauce to it. Specifically, cheese whiz. And with their latest Nacho Fries release, this has proven exact.

And before the Instagrammers could get their filthy unicorn-stained hands on the Nacho Fries to make it more Instagrammable, Taco Bell was already two steps ahead by doing what was already inevitable…adding more shit to the Nacho Fries. So, now you can get a small container of fries dusted with a sneakily similar Doritos Original Taco seasoning salt and a small container of warm liquor store cheese whiz. The seasoning dust is spicy, sweet, smokey and salty. If they’re fried to order. Or, you can get it Supreme and have Taco Bell’s signature ground beef, sour cream, bland and under ripened tomatoes added to the mix. Or, you can get it…Bell Grande! Which is the same shit as supreme except bigger and with factory processed shredded lettuce with a faint whiff of spent lettuce wash water and saline solution.

As usual, there’s no way Taco Bell can compete with the already popular Carne Asada fries found at most California taquerias. And it’s not trying to. Taco Bell already knows what baby wants. They know that their customers probably aren’t even eating at taquerias. Unless it’s 2AM. And they also have a drive-thru. And they’re stoned.

But, is there really anything bad about seasoned french fries and warm velvety cheese product? Nope. And is there anything wrong with adding sour cream and seasoned ground beef to warm velvety cheese product and seasoned french fries? Fuck no. And with the nacho fries supreme coming in hot at under 420 calories (get it?) for $2.49, it’s not a bad deal. Just don’t look at the amount of cholesterol. Or, the sodium. Orrrrr, the fat. But, if you’re watching all of that…your ass shouldn’t be consuming most of the items on the Taco Bell menu anyway. Stick to their original crunchy and soft tacos, that come in at 170 calories and way less fat and sodium.

Yay! Cheese Whiz and Fries!

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