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Brilliant Hidden Flasks to Sneak Booze into Festivals

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Now that Coachella is here, festival season is finally upon us. This means donning your cutest threads, shuffling around from stage to stage to see three-quaters of a performance, eating food that comes on a stick, and of course paying exorbitant amounts of money on booze. Thankfully there are hidden flasks.

We live in a glorious time though. People have used the zenith of technology to construct ways for you to sneak hooch into festivals, allowing you can get your swerve on for cheap. And that’s what I’m here to show you. Below are a handful of clever ways to get your sauce inside. The days of jamming a bottle of Jameson in your underwear are over.

The FlaskTie

Hidden Flasks ties

Now you’re probably thinking, who wears a tie to a festival? Well let’s just say there has never been a better reason to dress like a Rude Boy. The FlaskTie is exactly what it sounds like! There’s an 8 ounce badder hidden in the tie making smuggling booze easy. Plus if you’re a professional with a drinking problem, this little invention just changed your life. Grab one of these hidden flasks right here.

Tipsy Tubes Hidden Flasks

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Hidden Flasks suncreen

Nobody wants to get sunburned…but they might want to get lit up! That’s where Tipsy Tubes come in. They come in a three pack and each one holds 8 ounces of liquor so that’s 24 ounces of whiskey you can sip on to make your day better. Grab these hidden flasks right here.

BoozeBrella and Sunscreen Hidden Flasks

Hidden Flasks umbrella

Be prepared to get wet whether it rains or shines! Not only does this package come with the sneaky sunscreen flask, it also comes with the BoozeBrella, which is exactly what it sounds like. The best part is the fuckers are so smart it even comes with little seals so it looks like your tube of sunscreen has never been opened. Get yours right here. Or you can get a 13oz umbrella flask on its own right here.

The Wine Purse

Hidden Flasks purse

This is the grand dame of the sneaky booze game. The Wine Purse actually carries things inside like a real purse but also has secret, insulated compartment where you can fit 1.5 liters of liquid! That’s like two bottles of wine, or if you wanna get real fucking savage almost a handle of hard alcohol. Plus the bag has a hidden spigot so you can easily dispense the sauce. Wow…just wow. Get yours right here.

The Bev-Brush

Hidden Flasks brush

If a little hair of the dog is what you need, check out the Bev-Brush. While it looks like just a regular brush for your hair it also holds 6 ounces of booze. Get your hair straight while you get crooked! Get one of these hidden flasks right here.

The Bev-Bank

Hidden Flasks charger

While this thing won’t actually charge your phone it will give you more juice! In side the Bev-Bank you can hide 8 ounces of liquor. Damn these cats are getting clever. Get one of these hidden flasks right here.

Tampon Hidden Flasks

Hidden Flasks tampons

You just know that the dude checking your bag at the gate isn’t gonna wanna touch tampons, which makes this a surefire bet. Each individual tampon flask holds an ounce of booze so the more you throw in the bottom of your bag the more booze you can bring in! Get yours right here.

The Boozy Bangle

Hidden Flasks bracelet

To be honest, I’m a little iffy about this one because it’s so ostentatious. Like if tons of folks start rolling up with this bracelet flask, I have a feeling the security folks might eventually figure it out. Then again who knows. People wear some really insane outfits to festivals so anything is possible. Get yours right here.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.