San Francisco

Gov. Contractors Finally Finish ‘Industrial Tity’ Sign in South SF

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Photo: Eric Deaver, March 2nd, 2019

After 90+ years of construction, the massive sign in South San Francisco is finally finished.  South SF City Comptroller, Arnold Hammerhands, spoke to press on Sunday morning with great pride, “It’s been a long time coming, but finally motorists will know what South SF is really all about!” Said Hammerhands.  When asked why the project took so long to complete, Hammerhands credited and thanked the SF construction teams that helped, “I know it’s been a long time coming,” he said, “but, with the help of the Salesforce Transit Center construction team, and the SF Central Subway construction team, we were able to complete the project, only 90 years after the original deadline and only 4 billion dollars over budget.”

The old, unfinished South San Francisco Sign

The iconic South San Francisco Sign was commissioned in 1923 by the South SF Chamber of Commerce, it was built to promote business interests in the municipality, which of course is separate from the City and County of San Francisco.  It was commissioned the same year as the slightly more famous ‘Hollywood” sign in Los Angeles.

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“Many are giving credit for the completion of the sign to a couple of teenagers with a can of white paint,” said Hammerhands, “nothing could be further from the truth!  We worked tirelessly with the incompetent and clearly corrupt SF developers to finish this sign,” assured Hammerhands, “now that this vital project is finished, the construction teams from the Central Subway line and the Salesforce Transit Center can go back to not fixing or opening either of their municipal projects.”

Central Subway Tunnel\, under SF is..still not open.  Photo

The Central Subway line in San Francisco has been under construction for over 10 years, is tens of millions of dollars over budget and will not open on time (it may, or may not open in 2020).   Its latest delay was caused by contractors who literally ‘laid the wrong track‘, in the new subway tunnel.  They have been working on this 1.7 mile MUNI extension for 10 years.  That’s ‘Ten’ with a ‘T’. It took Bart less time to build over 70 miles of track, underground, aboveground and under the bay, in the 1960s & 70s.

Meanwhile, the new Salesforce Transit Center is still closed, six months after its grand opening.  It was also over budget, late to open, and of course, poorly constructed.  After 8 years of building, it took less than 8 weeks to discover the new center was unsafe for use, because of cracked support beams.

Salesforce Transit Center funding suspended for mismanagement. Photo courtesy of SF Chronicle

In all seriousness.  The “South San Francisco Industrial Tity’ sign change, was actually a prank that happened over the weekend, and of course, no one has claimed responsibility for repainting the sign.  We like to have a little fun with headlines now and again, and although we made up ‘Arnold Hammerhands’, we unfortunately did not make up any figures or timetables associated with the Central Subway or Salesforce Transit Center.  Those projects are both costing the taxpayer billions, and have been grossly mismanaged from the start.

Anyway, we’re sure the South SF sign will be fixed soon enough. (unless they hire Tutor Perini to do it).  If you’re interested in hiking Sign Hill where the 60 ft letters are painted check out our article about the hike and its history here.

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife (not so much nightlife anymore).

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1 Comment

  1. Iain Gardener
    April 20, 2020 at 11:05 am

    I’m convinced the central subway is actually a secret plan by Jeff Bezos to construct a hyperlink line between The City and Australia. Come 3020 he’ll unveil a one hour trip from downtown to Bondi Beach.