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Telegraph Hill Resident Posts Letter Accusing Neighbor of Being an Idiot 

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Sometimes life throws you a smile.  Residents of Telegraph Hill have taken to the street and posted maybe the most passive-aggressive, unneighborly, and hilarious ‘note’ we’ve ever read.  The letter posted on the street titled ‘Do You Burn Wood?‘ (no doubt posted in front of the offending neighbor’s house) lists several Wikipedia style reasons why burning wood in a fireplace is both deadly and shameful.

According to the posting, not only does burning wood in a fireplace threaten the lives of children and old folks, the smoke from burning wood also causes ‘depression and suicide’!  Obviously, the solution to this incredible threat to public safety, is to write a really insulting letter to your neighbor and to post it outside their house.  And make sure to create an email address in order to keep lines of communication open: stopburningwoodonthehill@gmail.com.

If these dangerous ‘facts’ weren’t enough reason for the neighbor to stop burning wood in their fireplace, then maybe being called an ‘asshole’, an ‘ignoramus’ and a ‘stone age’ level polluter, will work?

Telegraph Hill.  Residents throwing stones around an ivory tower.  This letter should be used in universities to teach how not to get what you want from a neighbor.

If you’re curious about laws and regulations governing wood burning in the Bay Area, the www.baaqmd.gov has the answers.  It is only illegal to burn wood in your fireplace in San Francisco on days when a Winter Spare the Air Alert is in effect.

The gov also made it illegal to build wood-burning fireplaces in new residential buildings, starting back in 2016.

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife (not so much nightlife anymore).

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1 Comment

  1. jc
    April 20, 2020 at 7:22 am — Reply

    This neighborhood most likely has the highest amount of wood burning appliances in the City since it is very legal to run a commercial wood burning appliance in commercial kitchens (i.e.: hipster pizza)

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