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A ‘Big Gay Car Wash’ Is Coming To Wipe Down Your Hardtop

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If your car could use a good blower wash, you can get your vehicle nice and foamy while supporting the performers and venues who have it hard these days. The beefy boys of the all-male revue Baloney will give you and your car the full-service treatment at Suds & Studs: A Socially Distanced Big Gay Car Wash, this Saturday, August 1, from 12 Noon – 3 p.m. This fully masked, drive-thru slutty car wash is going down outside The Oasis at 298 11th Street, and the action will also be broadcast live on the @sfbaloney Instagram

“We are providing some much-needed eye candy and live sudsy erotica for spectators from the safety of their cars, while adhering to strict mask and distancing guidelines for our Baloney Boys,” says Baloney choreographer and co-creator ‘Coach’ Rory Davis. “Washes are $25 and as always, our Baloney Boys don’t mind if you stick the tip in as well.”

Even if you don’t have a car, you can still get in on the action. Baloney will be broadcasting the event live all day on the @sfbaloney Instagram, and doing wet soapy dares for Venmo tips @sfbaloney.

“Skater Waiters will deliver food and drinks to your car while masked Sudsy Baloney Studs wipe every inch of your big hard vehicle,” Coach Davis tells us. “Washes start at $25 and will leave you feeling dirtier than your car!” 

There’s no appointment necessary, and Venmo, credit cards, and cash will be accepted on site. Washes start at 12 noon sharp with the final wash at 3 p.m., and service will be performed on a  ‘First cum first scrubbed’ basis.

You can also support the Oasis by ordering up Meals on Heels: Drag, Drinks, and Dinner Delivery! On Friday night, July 31 between 5-8 p.m., or by tuning in for Three’s Company Live! On Friday night and A Night at the Oasis: Part Deux! On Saturday night, both on the SF Oasis Youtube channel.

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.