10 Times Restaurant Employees Should Have Been Fired, But Weren’t

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Let’s face it, we’ve all gotten away with things at our jobs that we 100% should have been terminated for. Maybe we weren’t fired because the boss never knew about it, like the time I stole money from the miniature golf course I worked at to pay for my Dairy Queen lunches. (The statute of limitations has run out. Sorry, Putt-Putt.) Or maybe the boss did know about it, but knew you were right to do what you did. like the time a waiter I worked with confronted a customer who didn’t tip and yelled at him “you got deep pockets and short arms, get the fuck outta here!”

Below, are ten stories (edited for length and clarity) of restaurant workers who did something at work that should have resulted in them being fired, but for whatever reason, didn’t. Some of these are pretty shocking, but can you imagine the stories that people didn’t want to share?

Jeremy: I got pissed while cooking and threw the lid of a pot over into the dish area, but as I threw it a server was walking in with the bus cart full of dishes and I hit her in the back of the head. She had to go to the hospital for a concussion.

Nicole: A few years ago, we were balls to the wall slammed. We were short staffed to the point where it was just me and a cook taking tables. I had a horrendously rude customer. I put all of their food down, looked everyone in the eye and asked if they needed anything else. They all said no. I was three steps away from the table and one of the men put his fingers in his mouth and whistled at me to come over. I lost my shit. “Sir, do I look like a fucking dog to you?!” “Uh, ummm, no!” “Then don’t you ever fucking whistle at me again.” He called and complained to my boss, but I didn’t know anything about it, until weeks later, when we were all joking around and my boss said, “Just don’t ever whistle at Nicole, she’ll bite your head off.”

Kimberly: I left 6 pounds of weed on my desk and went home….not my best moment.

Madison: I had a guy ask me if I failed waitress school because I didn’t automatically bring ketchup to the table when I brought their food. I just never went back to the table. Told all the other staff to not go back to that table either. They’d try to flag one of us down and nobody went. So they got up and took their ticket to the bartender to pay and when he complained about the service, the bartender told him complaints weren’t covered in waitress school. “Here’s your change. Call someone who gives a damn.”

Nicola: We had a couple of impossible bodybuilding women regulars. They liked to make up their own salads and it was wrong every time they ordered, no matter what. They also liked to have a pancake after their salads. When I brought the pancakes out they had butter on them and they literally yelled at me. “I said no butter!!!! Get the butter off! I SAID NO BUTTER!” (They didn’t say no butter.) I picked a spoon up off the table, scooped the butter balls off each pancake, and threw the butter onto the patio ground. I immediately said, “my manager will be right out” and walked away. I never had to wait on them again.

Vaidas: Once, when a rude customer asked for a complaint book I told him that we had one in the restroom that rolls out.

Sara: I once threw an entire family out of the restaurant because the mother sent back three steaks for no reason. THREE STEAKS! Then she called me a bitch under her breath. I threw them all out mid-dinner. The daughter said “you can’t treat us like this, we are the customers.”  I said, “not any more, you’re not. Get out.”

Nicholas: I worked at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas. Michael Keaton came in unannounced with a party of ten, then complained that customers asked for his autograph so his $400 bill was comped. They left the waiter 10 bucks. Next time he came in with two people so I let every customer in the building know he was there and said they should ask for his autograph.

Lisa: I paid someone that came in close to closing time five dollars to leave so I didn’t have to wait on them.

Levi: Well, seeing as I don’t work there anymore it might be safe to say now. A few years ago our kitchen was crashing everyone was going nuts. I snapped a picture and made a hilarious meme which I sent to Bitchy Waiter. He posted it for me keeping my identity secret for all these years.

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Bitchy Waiter

Bitchy Waiter

Darron Cardosa is a writer, actor, singer, and waiter. He lives and and works in New York City and enjoys "The Brady Bunch," "The Facts of Life" and cocktails almost as much as he hates your baby.

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