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5 Things To Tell Your Server That Will Get You Better Service

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Having been a restaurant server for almost two score, I’ve seen it all.* I know the things that customers can say or do that will automatically make me want to give them better service. Shockingly, telling me they’re a big tipper isn’t one of them because the people who say that seldom know how to put their money where their mouth is. If you are going out to eat in the near future and want to get the best possible service try saying some of these five things to your waiter or waitress. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll be treated like royalty, but it certainly won’t hurt.

“How’s your day going?” This might seem completely obvious to most human beings, but it’s surprisingly rare for a customer to utter this phrase. By doing so, you are acknowledging the very existence of the person who is there to help you. And when you ask this question, you need to actually pay attention to the response. If they say it’s going great, tell them you’re glad to hear that. If they say it’s a shit show, empathize with them. It’s small talk, but a huge gesture.

“Oh, you helped us the last time we were here.” Of course you can’t lie about this, but if it’s true, say it. This will let your server know that you remember them from the last time and that you appreciated what they did. It also makes the server want to raise their own expectations, because deep down inside, every server wants to make their customers happy. Of course this is assuming you remember them for a good reason and not because they spilled a pitcher of frozen margarita into your purse.

“When you have time / I can see you’re busy.” When a customer says this to a server, the server knows that the customer understands they are not the only priority. There are lots of other people in the server’s section who are vying for attention and too many of them think they are the only ones who matter. Telling your server to take their time might make the server prioritize you over someone who said they need something in a much less friendly manner.

“Please and thank you.” Again, this seems like common sense, but there are plenty of customers who never use those words. When a server has five tables and only one of them uses the basic manners that we all learned in grade school, guess which table is going to get the better service. Manners matter.

“We’re all on one check.” If a server has a single table with more than six people at it, “one check” are the two most glorious words that can ever fall from the mouth of a customer. A burden is lifted from the server and they now know they won’t have to waste precious minutes separating checks and keeping tabs on who’s sitting where. It’s not like having separate checks is going to make them give you bad service, it’s just that one check makes it more likely you will have better service.

BONUS ACTION: Smile, darn ya, smile! Pretty much every single thing on this list is to help you connect with your server. If customers expect their server to smile at them, it’s not too much for servers to expect this same thing from customers. A smile is an open invitation for friendliness and it goes both ways. The customer/server relationship is a two-way street, so try not to be on the one-way street to rudeness. A little smile goes a long way.

* One score is twenty years and I’ve had an apron around my waist for 35 freaking years.

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Bitchy Waiter

Bitchy Waiter

Darron Cardosa is a writer, actor, singer, and waiter. He lives and and works in New York City and enjoys "The Brady Bunch," "The Facts of Life" and cocktails almost as much as he hates your baby.