Five Easy Essentials for a Delightful Day at Dolores Park

Get ready to swap that seasonal depression for regular depression, folks. Warmer weather is on its way. Following these next few rounds of rain and the start of Spring, the Great Dryout begins. In time you’ll find yourself invited to partake in one of San Francisco’s greatest traditions: getting drunk at Dolores Park. Whether it’s your first or fiftieth visit, there are five essentials you should pack—in addition to the sweater you normally take with you, it’s still San Francisco we’re talking about—for a fantastic day at Dolores.

Sunscreen and sunglasses

The cruelest sunburn I ever had here did not happen at the beach or aboard a boat on the Bay. It was the result of an afternoon at Dolores Park. You see, the wind can be deceptively cooling. The same effect is even stronger at the beach (remember that). It blows heat off your skin, and the radiant sting that usually tells you you’re burning gets snuffed out. By the time you notice it, you’re already cooked. I couldn’t sleep or shower for days. Dolores Park had me running for the aloe vera gel. 

Never underestimate the strength of the Sun. The American Cancer Society estimates 104,960 new melanomas will be diagnosed (~60,550 in men, 44,410 in women). About 8,430 people are expected to die of melanoma, about 5,470 men and 2,960 women. I find it’s most easy to apply sunscreen right after you’ve showered. You’re less likely to underapply or miss spots altogether. Remember your ears, and your head if you’re rocking bald. Last but hella not least, that SPF 15 or higher lip balm. Your skin is thinnest on your lips and your butthole (why that butthole tanning fad was hilariously doomed). 

Please learn from my misery. That’s why this tip is up top! Please, use an effective sunscreen. If you’re prepared, a sunny day at Dolores Park can be enjoyable and pain-free.

A trusty towel or blanket 

Except for the hot dry weeks of Indian Summer, that grass is suspiciously damp. You’ll see a ton of dogs running around and make the connection. I’m not sure if the entire park has sprinklers. It doesn’t matter, something is going between myself and that wet grass. And to think I used to trot barefoot there! 

Usually it’s dog shit and piss puddles you should look out for. Then again, I once spotted broken glass just before we threw our blanket down and sat on it. That’s asking for some mean stitches. I’m the kind of hypochondriac that carries Band-Aids and sanitizer. But I’d rather have them and not need them than the other way around.  

Treats for yourself and friends

In my opinion, no day at Dolores Park is complete without your intoxicant of choice. It’s the kind of gathering place that befits the sound of clinking glass, cheers for making time for one another. I don’t drink (ten years off booze this month!). You’ll find me imbibing in the Californian speciality friends back home still envy. I raise my Mexican Coke in one hand and a smoldering joint in the other. Thank fuck for the miracle of friends, San Francisco, and having the day off. 

The easiest and sorest oversight is forgetting snacks and water. What are you going to do when the munchies hit, when there’s nothing to soak up all that Bud Light? When you get cottonmouth real bad, but the only thing left is more alcohol? Don’t be one of those queens seen barfing from a passing J-Church train, or making everyone leave because they’re hungry. I firmly believe that unless you’re coming straight from eating brunch, it’s wise to pack food and water.

Did you come unprepared? No worries. Dolores Park has got you covered. Eventually a helpful soul will roll up with a cooler full of cold ones, like AAA for day drinking. It’s embedded in Dolores Park culture that every visitor has a good time. The cooler carriers have expanded their options over the years, offering chips, bottled water, even pizza by the slice. I’ll neither confirm nor deny whether other goodies are available, and I may or may not take my chances. 

A good book

Not The Good Book. You know what, sure, bring the Bible. It’ll tickle me to roll joints on top of it. Take that, grandma! 

Maybe you’re going solo to Dolo, or you’re the timely one in your friend group, i.e. first to arrive. Either way, you’ll get to catch up on your reading. And never bother if somebody flakes on you. Another magic trick of Dolores Park is, when one friend bails, another unexpectedly shows up. 

I aim for a consistent personal rotation of three books: one classic, one contemporary, and the last, a wild card. Now in March 2025, I’m reading Lydia Davis’ translation of Gustave Flaubert’s Madame Bovary (the classic), Lydia Davis’ second book of Essays (the contemporary), and an English translation of Marie Ndiaye’s Ladivine (wild card). I hope you, the good San Franciscan that you are, get your reads from the SF Public Library. The nearest branch to Dolores Park is actually pretty close, the Eureka Valley-Harvey Milk Memorial Branch Library (16th St. between Sanchez and Market). 

People generally agree: reading is sexy. Your sunglasses will undoubtedly come in handy while flipping those bright white pages. Think about how cool you’ll look, sunscreened skin glistening in the daylight, fingers turning seriously through your book. No one has to know you’re reading Call Me By Your Name, again. 

A plastic bag for party garbage 

Provided it isn’t a library book, when you finish Call Me By Your Name, you’ll have a convenient trash bag for it. But when everybody’s cold and sleepy and ready to leave, you don’t want to be caught without a garbage receptacle. Would you rather scramble up the hillside with everything tumbling from your arms? A small number of waste bins ring the park and it’s in one of them that you’ll dump your trash. 

If you haven’t noticed, Dolores Park operates on its own economy. Even the garbage has value. On every trip I encounter some kind individual, often elderly, willing to add my empty aluminum cans to their bag. They weave through the park’s crowded slopes all day, fielding can after can, filling industrial-sized trash bags to the brim. Respectfully hold yours in the air when somebody is collecting. After a hard day in the sun, they haul all that metal to a recycling center and swap out cans for cash. And honestly, more power to them. 

Keep Dolores Park clean. Wouldn’t it get suck to be ticketed for littering while supposedly being an adult? SFPD officers are on the lookout not for weed but violence, hard drugs and litterbugs. Dolores Park did have a thin-blue-line phase awhile back. Rangers from San Francisco Parks & Recreation tried nabbing people for open container violations and the like. It wasn’t long before they recognized the futility of their efforts and quietly backed off. You may still find one skulking around, though they’re usually on patrol for drug use near playgrounds. 

By the way, if you’re taking a bottle of wine with you, don’t forget the accompanying corkscrew. I doubt any park rangers, tennis players, or kids on the playground carry a wine key (their moms might).