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10 Best Diners in NYC

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Ah, the diner. Home of greasy spoons and dirty ass burgers. Thank God New York is full of them. Otherwise, I would never survive a hangover. Yet, thanks to all this “up and coming neighborhood shit” it’s hard to eat grease in NY without spending a small fortune. “Go home, trendy assholes. We’re still broke.”

So to the broke and the beautiful, here are some killer places to still grab a cheap bite of full fat to eat. Okay, they do salads and shit too, so keep reading.

1. Manhattan Three Decker 

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Home of the three-decker sandwich, this place is full of fatty delicious eats and fucking salads if that’s your thing. You can’t go wrong with Manhattan Three Decker if you’re damn broke and hungry. For $9.50, you get a big-ass sandwich, fries, coleslaw and a pickle. Not too shabby for Brooklyn with all this up and coming neighborhood shit.

2. Goodfellas Diner 

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Some of you may still call it Clintons. Their marketing might have got swanky and changed their name after they rose to fame in between Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta, but their food is still the same. Goodfellas has everything you could imagine on a three-mile long diner menu. They even have Challah French Toast.

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3. Westway Diner

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This bad boy is opened 24 hours and family run to boot. According to NY Eater, this is the place “…as legend has it, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David first talked about writing a show called Seinfeld.” Not only can you get any dessert your little sweet tooth desires in this place, you might be able to get some comedic inspiration in here as well. God knows I need it.

4. Jahn’s 


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If you want some mother fucking ice cream get your ass to Jahn’s in Jackson Heights–pronto. No joke. I mean, the mother of all ice cream sundaes is waiting for you to devour it and feel like a foodie rock star. Oh, and if it’s your birthday–Jahn will still treat you to a delicious sundae on him!

5. Joe Junior 

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Want the best burger in New York City? Get yourself over to Joe Junior! Of of the only places hipsters haven’t taken over, this place is still as blue collar as its roots. A truly epic experience if you’ve never had a kick-ass griddled burger.

6. Pearl Diner

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Not even Superstorm Sandy could shut this iconic diner down! Located right smack in the middle of the Financial District, Pearl Diner offers free delivery. Yep. FREE delivery. The food is cheap as chips and just like they brag it’s “always delicious”.

7. Eisenberg’s Sandwich Shop

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“Raising NY’s Cholesterol Since 1929.” No shit, and it’s bloody delicious. This is “the” place for a damn good sandwich and a bangin’ milkshake. Their milkshakes really do make all the boys come to the yard. Like they say, “You either get it, or you don’t.”

8. Greenpoint Diner 

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This place used to be known as Coffee Friends. They did a refurb and changed the name, but not the food or the website name. It’s nothing special. Run by some sweet Polish people. Greenpoint Diner has killer fucking hash and cheap ass coffee. Great for a hangover and anyone who is broke-ass and beautiful.

9. Mike’s Coffee Shop

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If you’re looking for a taste of the dirty south in the city, get your butt to Mike’s Coffee Shop. No wonder Chris Rock eats there. He knows what’s up with some chicken and waffles. If you’ve never had them–you haven’t lived!

10. Trailer Park Lounge 


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Fucking rock-a-billy heaven. I can’t get enough of the Trailer Park Lounge in historic Chelsea. All I have to say is: Tater Tots. Sloppy Joes. Moon Pies. And Cocktails.


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Sassy Lil' Biscuit moonlighting as an underwater basket weaver. What? It's a valid profession.

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