I’ve had to write this article several times, and now I have to write it again. Crime isn’t a major issue in San Francisco. Even with Donald Trump calling San Francisco a “war zone” and local tech billionaire Marc Benioff apparently auditioning for Call of Duty: Tenderloin Edition, the city is actually on track to have its lowest number of homicides in more than 70 years. Yep… fewer people are killing each other here than when Eisenhower was president and cigarettes were considered breakfast.
According to the San Francisco Police Department, there were 19 homicides in the first nine months of the year – down from 24 last year during the same period. Even if you throw in last week’s tragic murder-suicide (which might bump the number up by three), we’re still looking at a grand total of around 27 for the year. That’s not just low; that’s practically Canadian.
Meanwhile, Trump keeps saying liberal cities like San Francisco are “very unsafe” and need the military to restore order. Which is wild, because according to actual data, the only real threat here is getting hit by an e-scooter or paying $19 for avocado toast.
It’s not just San Francisco; murders are down all over the country. We’re talking the lowest homicide numbers since the 1960s, when America’s biggest crime problem was probably Elvis’ hips. No one really knows why it’s happening, but some think it started during the pandemic when the government and nonprofits teamed up to keep people afloat. Turns out, giving people money, housing, and Wi-Fi might make them less murdery. Who knew?
Back in the ‘70s, San Francisco had 146 murders in a year. In the ‘90s, it spiked again with 133. But now, the city that people love to say is “overrun with crime” has a homicide rate so low it’s making the suburbs look violent.
Experts have been trying to figure out why this keeps happening. In 2015, then–District Attorney George Gascón said the city was getting older and richer, which sounds like a polite way of saying no one has the energy or motivation to kill anyone anymore. The rent’s too high, the kombucha’s too expensive, and if you get blood on your $400 Allbirds, that’s another crime entirely.
SFPD spokesperson Evan Sernoffsky told the Chronicle San Francisco isn’t just safer — it’s really safe. “It’s not just a narrative,” he said. “It’s families that don’t have to be grieving.” Which is an oddly wholesome statement coming from a city that can’t stop arguing about robot cops.
Last year, the SFPD solved 94% of murders — which means if you do commit one, they’re probably gonna catch you. Combine that with fewer crimes overall, and you get what Sernoffsky calls a “virtuous cycle.”
In other words: fewer murders, more brunch. San Francisco might be expensive, but at least it’s safe to complain about it.
