FREE Champagne and Cake at Good Vibrations Thursday Night

It's always the right time for cake.

I have a strong premonition that you’ll be feeling the effects of St. Patrick’s Day Shitshow 2010 on Thursday morning while you’re getting ready for work, avoiding your ghastly reflection in the mirror at all costs and wondering what you should be more ashamed of:  the dangerously irresponsible amount of alcohol you ingested the night before or the staggering number of dudes with beer guts and green Mardi Gras bead necklaces you let motorboat you.   You’ll tell yourself you can get through an hour of work without puking, but at approximately 45 minutes in, you’ll find yourself speed-walking down the hall to the restroom and collapsing on the cold, soothing tile floor of the handicapped stall.  The kombucha you drink on your lunch break will give you false hope that maybe you’ll be feeling normal soon, but by 5pm, you will want to die again and decide to crash for the night until you bitterly remember the recent time change means the sun will be up and mocking you for, like, another five hours.

You could moan and pout about this OR you could do something good for yourself and head to Good Vibrations.  The sex toy chain is turning 33 on Thursday, and to celebrate, starting at 6pm, all store locations will bust out FREE champagne, FREE birthday cake and offer a 25% discount on all vibrators.  The female anatomy is very powerful, and if I’m not mistaken, it has now been scientifically proven that the vagina appreciates a good deal as much, if not more, than the wallet.  It’s also true that vibrators make great gifts, and unlike furniture or clothing, are not exactly items you should be scouring thrift stores for.  So stock up while the sale’s on, devour some hangover-curing birthday cake and continue hoping you did not give that creepy leprechaun-costumed tech nerd from The Irish Bank your real number.

If you’d like to get our newsletter, signup right here, it takes 5 seconds.