Apparently There’s A Dating Site for Everyone…Even These People
This is the best thing ever. Just let it sink in for a sec.
This question was posed to me recently: How many dating sites are there out in the interwebs? Answer: WAY TOO MANY! Do any of them actually help you find love? How do you even know which to use? Also, are you willing to pay to find love? Most of these sites have free versions. They entice you with possible matches but to communicate or get more accurate results you must fork over the $$$. Love isn’t cheap folks. Love is a battlefield! You need all the help you can get to win the war on those damn wedding invitations that ask for your plus one. (Wedding Tip: Always get the prime rib over the chicken.)
I’ll eat his food.
Some sites are more serious than others. It all depends on what you’re looking for. Do you want to walk down the aisle? Breed your own minions to rule over your personal empire once you die? Or do you just want to get laid? With dating sites popping up all over the place it’s hard to pick which one will give the best results. You can either cast a wide net with the most popular sites like Match.com or seek out a certain type of person on specialty dating sites like SingleParentMeet. I just read an article on CNN Living about a new dating app called Siren that gives women all the power! Women can monitor the access men have to their profile. It removes the creep factor found on other sites. Though there’s still a spontaneous element to the app. Women can send out a “Siren Call” to meet men in present time. Its being launched this week in Seattle only. Here are some of the most used dating sites/apps. Pick your poison, folks!
Straights Only:
Eharmony – For people serious about long-term relationships and marriage. (Website & App)
ChristianMingle.com – You love Jesus? So do I! Let’s bone! After we get married. (Website & App)
JDate.com – Are you looking for a nice Jewish girl/boy? Shiksa’s allowed! (Website & App)
Mormom Match – Door to door dating! I TOLD THE TRUUUUUTH (Website & App)
CatholicMingle.com – Kneel, stand, kneel, stand, drink blood..er, wine. (Website Only)
Straight & Gay:
OKCupid – Date someone who is 90% your enemy! (Website & App)
Tinder – Mainly dating and booty. Oh no! I accidentally swiped left!!! There is no undo. Also these are the reasons your Tinder profile is horrible. (App Only)
HowAboutWe – …go on a REAL date? Great idea!!! Pick an outing and go. (Web & App)
Coffee Meets Bagel – One person per day. You only get 7 days to IM each other if you match. (Web & App)
Beautiful People – Only hot people! Membership is granted via judgment by current members. (Web & App)
Black Planet – Cuz once you go black…. (Web & App)
OurTime – Cuz once you go grey…. (Web & App)
Amigos – WORST name ever. I want Amores not Amigos! (Website Only)
Asian Dating – Do you travel extensively through Asia? (Website & App)
Plenty of Fish – #4 on Google Play. Similar to OKC and Match. I am not a fan. (Web & App)
Grouper – Scared of one-on-one dates? Go on a group date!! More selection, One date! (Web& App)
Turn around!!!! Creeper Grandpa is behind you!!!!
Gay:
Grinder –Hook up mainly. Horny dude just 10 feet away! Hook it up. (App Only)
Scruff – More of the Bear, Cub, Kink hook up preferences. (App Only)
Jack’d – Favorites list and unlimited messaging. Yet another hook up site. (App Only)
Bender – Chatting with built in translations for your foreign hook ups! (App Only)
Mister – Older gays looking for a bit more than hook ups. (Website & App)
Adam4Adam , ManHunt, Growlr, GuySpy and SO MANY MORE!!
Lesbian:
Brenda – Like Gridr but for women. (App Only)
Wing Ma’am – More substantial connections. Focus on lez events and “community building.” (App Only)
Daatch – New lez app on the block. More matching options once the US lezzies create profiles. (App Only)
Why aren’t there more Lesbian dating apps??? There’s a Home Depot joke in here somewhere…
Transgendered (according to Cupid’s Library):
MyLadyBoy Date – Self explanatory they are lady boys. (Web Only)
LVTG – Las Vegas centered – trans, cross dressers, shemales. (Web Only)
Plentyofts – A huge collection of trans people to chat with and connect to. (Web Only)
Others:
Farmer’s Only – Boning when the cock crows! Get it?!? COCK!? I’m hilarious. (Website Only)
Cosplay.com – Do cartoon, scifi, comic book or Disney characters turn you on? (Website Only)
Furrymate – Way beyond hairy chests…way, WAY, beyond. (Website Only)
Positive Singles – S -T -Do It!! Got the Herp? So do these folks! Safe Sex is STILL essential!! (Web& App)
GlutenFreeSingles – Because the rest of us just can’t even.
Mullet Passions – Who doesn’t like a PARTY!?!….in the back.
AshleyMadison – For Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eaters. Tagline: Life is Short. Have An Affar. (Web & App)
How is man NOT the sexiest thing EVER!?!
Ugh. That was exhausting. I’d rather just go to a bar and pick up some poor bastard staring at his smartphone cruising Tinder and say “You’re hot…let’s swipe right. Right out this bar and into my bed!!!” It works every time! JUST KIDDING! That line never works. Like this article?
Make sure to sign up for the BAS mailing list so you never miss a goddamn thing!
Images courtesy of Ultimatetop10s, RSVPify, POF, OurTime, HuffPost Blog
