How to Properly Dispose E-Scooters
Like any good citizen, you want to dispose of your e-scooters quickly and safely, but you also want to be friendly to the environment. So what do you do? Well, you follow our handy, socially conscious, complete guide to properly disposing e-scooters.
How to Recycle your E-scooter
Gf just texted me what should undoubtedly be the file photo for San Francisco’s dockless scooter backlash pic.twitter.com/Gko2ToHmpd
— Graham Hancock (@grahamhancock) April 13, 2018
The city and the e-scooter companies have been working very hard to find a solution to the e-scooter problem, and in response to public demand, they have placed escooter docking stations all over the city for your convenience. When you see an e-scooter on the sidewalk, calmly walk up to it, pick it up, and place it on the nearest docking station, also known as a ‘scootypods’ (they’re still focus grouping that title).
If a docking station does not have the recycling symbol on it, simply slot the scooter through the top of the docking station like pictured above.
We are no longer throwing e-scooter into Lake Merritt
People are trashing #Oakland Lake Merritt by dumping scooters in it.
In October alone, 60 e-scooters were pulled from the lake. We did not hear from @limebike or @BirdRide on this report https://t.co/6T7R6eesk4 pic.twitter.com/LHUUfxSnJB
— KTVU (@KTVU) December 11, 2018
You have to fight your instincts on this one. We know it feels natural to throw e-scooters into a body of water instead of stepping over them on the sidewalk, but you mustn’t act on those impulses. Instead, we recommend a creative outlet, you can make scooter art!
@BirdRide and @limebike trash can sculpture project as reported by #birdgraveyard on Instagram #scootersasart #scooterinvasion #scootersbehavingbadly #artproject pic.twitter.com/lV8QmBpTXA
— Scooter Idiots (@scooteridiots) July 18, 2018
We are no longer throwing e-scooters into the Bay!
That’s right. Foreign objects containing large batteries do not belong in our waterways. DO NOT throw your e-scooter into the bay…again. To help citizens remember what to do when they’ve finished using their escooters, they’ve released a PSA with a catchy acronym:
When you’re done riding an escooter, always remember to D.U.M.P
Don’t panic
Understand that you are part of the problem
Mobilize your legs
Place escooter in the trash
Bay Area Escooter docking stations are located all over the city
Other interesting things citizens are doing with escooter that we do not recommend
*This article is satire. BrokeAssStuart.com is not responsible, if you have no sense of humor.
