I can’t tell if I’m waking up or just going to sleep. My drunken stupor has muffled my senses, each coming in and out of focus in a kaleidoscope of sound and touch. I slowly begin to ascend the tiers of sobriety, and as I do, my senses return. There

Before I even had much sense of what oral sex was (“it’s when you say naughty things into someone else’s ear,” my fellow 6th grader assured me), I knew that going down on a girl was something very unpleasant, something that smelled like fish (turns out Chicken of the Sea is

As you all know, we love the fuck out of Kelly Malone. But it looks like she’s gonna have to go back to the east coast for awhile for some cancer treatments. So one last big huge party is being thrown for her. I’m just cutting and pasting the details

I drink a lot. Probably too much, but I don’t know where you draw the line when it comes to putting poison in your body, so I’ll just assume it’s in chalk somewhere around your dead body. Coming from a family with a history of addiction, I’m keenly aware of

So, it’s Valentine’s week (Yes, it’s an entire week now. Sorry.) and I don’t care if you’re fully ball-n-chained or single and swinging that thang all over the city, one thing V-day evokes in every last warm-blooded human being is the desire to get… some. You know what I’m talking about,

I have two pillows on my bed at all times. One of them is for sleeping; the other one is for pillow fights! I am a hopeless romantic, but I hate Valentine’s. Is that weird? I am a hopeless romantic … but never one or the other. Being hopeless is

I was thinking today … what if your Valentines Day was a movie?
Perhaps you were asked to be the director of said movie. The producer wanted the movie to be a silent one, and all the scenes would be set to music. The location scout informed you that cameras would just follow the main character from the point they woke up … to the moment they went to bed…