I hate Valentine’s Day. Sure, I’m a hopeless romantic who usually spends every February 14th alone doing Jell-O shots in my chaise while eating bacon-fried bacon and masturbating to re-runs of Breaking Bad, but I retain the comfort of knowing Internet Girlfriend will never leave nor punch me in the face. The real reason

People frequently mistake me for being gay. Certainly much more than they mistake me for being a comedian. But despite the fact that I studied theater in college while working at the Gap, living in the co-ops and sucking dick on the side for money, I am neither gay nor bisexual.

I’m not the first and certainly won’t be the last person to write about the importance of male penis size, but hey, dick talk be making it rain hella page views up in this server. Plus, in the wake of the recent size scandal at Subway, it seemed as good a

Shortly after graduating college, I found myself in an “identity crisis.”  I realized that I had spent the last four years of my life writing analytical essays about “thingness” or whatever other words I could add -ness to the end of, and over-using the word “utterly” to make myself sound

Are you into burlesque?  How about belly dancing? What about comedy, live art, nail painting, and a kissing booth? I thought so!  Me too! That’s why I’m giving away a pair of front row seats to Le Pony Express Variety Show.  From the Facebook invite: This time around we have something

I am sure you will be saturated with best of the year list with every other critic and blogger, but I wanted to share my discoveries of the year. This is a hodgepodge list of media that I did/saw/consumed/heard this year. If you are not already up on this, I

One can’t mention the film Mallrats (1995) without giving a nod to Clerks (1994). Clerks was writer/director Kevin Smith’s low-budget, indie masterpiece. It isn’t necessarily a novel idea these days, but in the early nineties, a movies about hourly-wage employees based mostly on snappy dialogue and not much action was