Listen, I’m a simple girl with simple needs.  As long as I can scour my local Salvation Army for ill-fitting ethnic print dresses and eat a burrito at least once a week, I am pretty much satisfied.  But lately, times have gotten tough.  This girl is horribly underemployed, and my–

So you think just because you’re not actually slurring your way through a drunken late night phone conversation that using the text messaging function on your telephonic device will make you appear less insane?  Think again, friend.  Drunk texting may even be WORSE, because although most of the time, you

The sexual tension in this photo is almost as taut and thick as this woman’s inner thigh. I bet the guy is not exactly slack-muscled either. I always hear people complaining about their girlfriends (and sometimes boyfriends) being expensive. First off, you’re dating the wrong people. Secondly, it doesn’t have

Okay, actually, I mean my daddy issues.  And I don’t mean all of that psychological hoo-ha about abandonment and male authority figures or whatever.  I’m talking about having the hots for guys in khakis and Hawaiian shirts.  As soon as I see a strapping twentysomething in the same outfit that

Last weekend, I went to my first-ever hardcore show.  I was a serious geekazoid as a teenager, so I was too busy trying to get the high score on the next AP Bio test to buy black socks, become straightedge, and be in the throes of a steamy hardcore love

You see, I’m what they call a “creative genius.”  I have a brain so out-of-control, half the time I can’t even make sense of the shit I come up with.  All I know is that I am constantly sprouting figurative light bulbs out the top of my dome, having what

In honor of the upcoming Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about love. The happiness, the longing gazes, the tender moments shared. And sometimes: the drama, the emotional rollercoaster ride, the letdowns. Almost everyone has been in an intense relationship with someone who is Simply Not Good For Them, including myself. Except,