I was thinking the other day: wouldn’t it be cool to send all my readers a little something for Valentine’s Day? Who doesn’t like getting something in the mail, especially if it’s cute, funny and just a little naughty? Nobody, that’s who! So that’s what I’ve decided to do. I

          So you still don’t have a Valentine, huh? Not to worry – you don’t have to stay home and watch porn all by your lonesome this year! Just in time for Valentine’s Day, HAM PANTS PRODUCTIONS is proud to present: the second-annual NAKED DUDES READING

We’ve all been there, dude. You’re happily single, watching True Detective from a stolen source of cable, pretending the chicken in your fridge is still ok to eat, Peter Panning your way through life on a meager salary, when, BAMM! The perfect person comes along, and you’re screwed (literally and

Because life’s more fun when you have to be creative AND wait to the last minute. Another corporate holiday is slowly upon us, ladies and gentlemen, and if you’d like to opt out of those prix-fixe meals and simply skip to the wine or champagne before sex (which, let’s be

I was thinking today … what if your Valentines Day was a movie?
Perhaps you were asked to be the director of said movie. The producer wanted the movie to be a silent one, and all the scenes would be set to music. The location scout informed you that cameras would just follow the main character from the point they woke up … to the moment they went to bed…

I hate Valentine’s Day. Sure, I’m a hopeless romantic who usually spends every February 14th alone doing Jell-O shots in my chaise while eating bacon-fried bacon and masturbating to re-runs of Breaking Bad, but I retain the comfort of knowing Internet Girlfriend will never leave nor punch me in the face. The real reason

If you’re anything like me, you feel a greater love for the city of San Francisco than any one person. A relationship with the city is an extremely fulfilling and content one at that. A close second love for me would be my admiration of food trucks. With the variety