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The Case for Aliens Living in the Ocean

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Artistic rendering of a USO taking flight. Pic via this website

By Hannah Harkness

While I don’t claim to be an expert on Alien conspiracies and I wouldn’t consider myself a paranoid tinfoil hat wearer that knows the truth about everything, I have a theory that even the biggest skeptics don’t disagree with me on. If aliens are on earth and are trying to hide, a pretty good place for them would be the ocean.

Also, in general, we have no idea what the hell is going on in the ocean. Less than 5% of the ocean has been explored and many scientists consider it to be the final frontier for exploration on earth. I don’t remember how long ago I got the notion in my head that aliens might be living in the ocean, but what I do remember is how startled I was the first time I went down a Google link rabbit hole at how many scientists seem to calmly agree with the idea. 

When I look at UFO websites I feel like I’m constantly being inundated with shitty Angelfire-esque web designs with garish, brightly colored font and rotating flying saucer graphics with “the truth is out there” all over the place, coded by a teenager in a basement from 1996.

Made by a teenager in a basement. Via this site.

But when I start looking for unexplained things underwater, I start turning up what feels like a series of marine biologists calmly dragging cigarettes going “Oh yeah. We see all kinds of weird shit down there. We have no idea what some of it is, man I mean it’s either rocks or aliens and it’s too dark, cold, and high pressure for us to go. Hell if we know if it’s aliens”.

I don’t claim any of these sources and things/events to be conclusive proof (especially because some of the sources are random blogs-I did my best, but obviously major news outlets don’t usually allow themselves to get this weird).

You draw your conclusions. But here is some of the stuff I’ve found over my years of poking internet search engines about unexplained shit underwater:

Most underwater alien believers are big on pointing out giant unexplained masses people find underwater that look like spaceships or alien bases. These are called underwater anomalies. There’s the Baltic Sea Anomaly, a huge disc underwater that does look a lot like a crashed UFO found by a Swedish diving team in 2011.

The “Baltic Sea UFO.” Pic from this site.

 There are two giant weird looking anomalies underwater near Malibu, California and Saipan Island near the Mariana Trench. The Mariana Trench itself has been subject to a lot of extraterrestrial conjecture due to anecdotal accounts and, well, it’s depth is the same as the height of Mount Everest-how the hell are we supposed to know what’s going on down there?

How deep is it? Via this site.

There are also a lot of conspiracies being floated around about the massive landforms they found under Antarctica this year, some people saying there are things that look like spaceship entrances in it.  The alternate explanations for these are usually “it’s a pile of rocks” “it’s a piece of a sunken human civilization” “glaciers/ asteroids did it” and “some piece of military equipment fell off into the water”.

As an aside, I also read a lot about sunken civilizations and my favorite find in that genre is something called the Bimini road. A psychic/spiritual practitioner Edgar Cayce , known as the sleeping prophet, said that Atlantis would be found off the coast of Bimini in the Bahamas in 1968-1969 several decades earlier than that. On September 2, 1968, someone found what looked like a road/ wall off the coast of Bimini. It’s cool. It might be Atlantis. It also might just be a random arrangement of rocks. Go look at some pictures/ YouTube dive footage and judge for yourself.

Bimini Road. Pic via this site.

UFO is a household term, but USO, or unidentified submerged object, is not. I’m not really sure why, maybe the notion of flying saucers shooting lasers in more exciting movie footage than things in the ocean. But there have been plenty of documented sightings. I’ll spare you linking to every single one, but my two favorites are this video of a UFO allegedly crashing into an ocean and everything detailed out in declassified Russian military files on extraterrestrial contact that was released in 2009.

Russia claims that they’ve seen unfamiliar underwater vehicles with advanced technology. They also, and this is my #1 favorite alien encounter story of all time, have claimed to have come in contact with giant underwater humanoids.

The giant underwater humanoids allegedly launched several military divers out of the water 50 feet in the air after they tried to catch them with a net underwater. They then had to be rushed to an oxygen chamber for decompression sickness, but three ended up dying and one became permanently disabled as you’re only supposed to put two divers in at a time and they had to put in four. Fishermen apparently witnessed this and said they thought it was strange that the military was doing drills where they launched divers into the air from underwater. For more information on this insane story, please read this hilariously titled article “Russia’s Deep Lakes Are Populated By A Race Of Giant Underwater Humanoids”. 

There’s also the issue of unexplained underwater sounds.

Most of these have been dismissed as unusual whale calls or glacier shifts, but they are pretty insane sounding. Scientists give them pretty hilarious names like Julia, Bloop (teehee), Upsweep, and Train.  While there’s plenty of reasonable alternate explanations for weird noises picked up by hydrophones, scientists haven’t been able to 100% say for sure where any of these come from and they are really friggin loud (Bloop was heard from hydrophones 3,000 miles apart). Scientists agree that whatever the source was for all of these was massive.

And then there’s the fact that deep sea animals are often weird, alien-looking creatures. There’s nothing saying that all of them are from here originally. We could just be point-blank looking at aliens already. My favorite thing that definitely looks like an alien is a thing called a giant pyrosome, a HUGE (like 30 meters) rare colony animal like coral that drifts/ self-propels like a jellyfish that is made up of chains of creatures called zooids. It’s not just huge and extremely rare, it GLOWS. Check out the below video of the eerily blue-lighted tube thing that haunts my dreams.

One last thing to consider:

Say you’re an alien with advanced technology. You’re looking at Earth. You see water taking up the majority of the planet. The water is filled with lots of peaceful creatures and super intelligent creatures like whales and dolphins as well as whatever you can see with your superior technology.

You then look at land, a smaller percentage of the planet. You see civilization, but it’s way less advanced than yours and it’s filled with war and insane xenophobic people that could likely try to fight or kill you. Who do you view as the actual owners of this planet? And where is the safer place for you to set up shop if you’re worried about humans messing with you? I think we should be looking below sea level for aliens instead of the sky.

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Hannah Harkness

Hannah Harkness

Hannah Harkness is a stand up comedian, writer, and neo vaudeville human surviving in Brooklyn, NY.