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The Hunky Jesus Contest Will Be Online-Only This Year

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The Good News is you can still spend Easter Sunday watching sexy shirtless bearded men doing hot messiah roleplay. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence had to postpone this year’s Easter Sunday anniversary celebration, but announced on their website that the 2020 Hunky Jesus and Foxy Mary contests will be held as online-only competitions. And the winners will be chosen by you, the thirsty masses, in an Easter Sunday contest on Instagram!

Our Easter In The Park celebration may be on hold this year but never fear, Foxy Mary and Hunky Jesus will rise again!…

Posted by Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Inc. on Monday, March 23, 2020

“After the breakout of COVID-19 the Sisters felt it was our duty to cancel our Easter celebration,” the Sisters’ board of directors chair Sister Tilda NexTime said in an announcement on their website. “But we didn’t want to let Hunky Jesus and Foxy Mary fans down! Like any modern 20th Century Order of Nuns, we’re going online and opening the contest, all genders, races, sexual orientations, and choice of peanut butters welcome.”

San Francisco shelter-in-place orders are still in effect, and the ban on gatherings of more than 100 people lasts until April 30. Easter Sunday is on April 12, well before the ban on gatherings ends. But you can still get a ‘hole’ day’s worth of fresh Hunky Jesus meat on Easter Sunday April 12, thanks to the Sisters’ new Instagram-based contest.

HOW TO WATCH THE 2020 HUNKY JESUS CONTEST

Just go to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Instagram page on Sunday, April 12. They’ll be posting 30 one-minute videos ⁠— 15 Hunky Jesus videos and 15 Foxy Mary videos ⁠— and you pick the winners based on Likes and Instagram comments. Dirty comments and dick pics might decide this thing!

HOW TO ENTER THE 2020 HUNKY JESUS AND FOXY MARY CONTESTS

The Sisters posted this year’s un-convent-ional rules in a Monday Instagram post:

  1. Follow the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence on Instagram.
  2. Prepare a short bio including your instagram account name, where you live, your Hunky Jesus or Foxy Mary name, a photo of you in character, and a one minute video featuring your “Holy Inspiration” in action.
  3. E-mail everything to contest@thesisters.org
  4. Entries are due by April 6th 12am PST
  5. The Sisters will pour through entries and select 15 candidates for Hunky Jesus, 15 candidates for Foxy Mary and announce contestants on Easter Sunday.
  6. Voting will be done by the community via likes and comments. One Winner will get a very special gift and world-wide bragging rights as the first ever online Foxy Mary and Hunky Jesus!

Foxy ladies will want to consider outfits and characters for the Foxy Mary Contest, too!

It does not appear that the traditional Bonnet Contest will be part of this year’s Instagram-only proceedings.

Easter Sunday is not only the Hunky Jesus Contest, it’s the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence’s anniversary. The Sisters were founded on Easter Sunday 1979, and this Easter will be their 41st anniversary. There are now 70 different Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence orders on four continents worldwide, and they’ve collectively raised millions of dollars to fight down a virus before. Trust their wisdom on how they do this.

 

 

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.