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Millionaire Golfers Descending On SF, Despite Pandemic

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Image: Tour Pro Golf Clubs via Flickr

Tiger Woods is already here, and more rich kid Republican inheritees are arriving by the minute as San Francisco gets ready to host the PGA Championship this weekend. You may not have noticed that professional golf’s only major championship of the year is coming to San Francisco this weekend, unless you happen to live near Lake Merced, because who gives a shit about golf. But hundreds of unmasked and not socially distancing conservatives will be tromping around 163 acres of city-owned land that could be used to house the homeless, but instead is a goddamned luxury fucking golf course.

Speaking of the homeless population, they’re being chased away from the perimeter of the event like it was the 2016 Super Bowl all over again. KQED reports that RV residents near  Lake Merced are being displaced and kicked out, so golfers and their TV crews don’t have to deal with the sight of them. “It probably was to keep the rich and famous golfers that are coming out here from being able to view such things as people living in RVs,” one RV resident told KQED. The cruel paradox, of course, is that there is so much room for safe housing and sleeping accommodations on that 6,743 yard-by-7,200 yard waste of space known as TPC Harding Park golf course.

“It is time to reclaim the golf courses from the wealthy and turn them over to the homeless,” George Carlin said on his 1992 comedy album Jammin’ in New York.  “Plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods, land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless, mindless activity, engaged in primarily by white, well-to-do male businessmen who use the game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer among themselves.” 

“I’m really getting tired of these golfing cocksuckers in their green pants and their yellow pants and their orange pants and their precious little hats and their cute little golf carts,” he said. “Golf is an arrogant, elitist game, and it takes up entirely too much room in this country.”

It’s no secret that pro golfers are overwhelmingly Trumpers, that Trump has directed taxpayer money toward his golf courses, and he spends way too much time golfing amidst a pandemic and financial crisis.

Even well-known goober John Daly has the good sense to stay away from this tournament. But the overwhelmingly conservative country club golfer community wants to pretend that there is no COVID-19 and that everything is fine, so this kind of shit is par for the course from them. 

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.


  1. Ken Martinez
    August 4, 2020 at 8:59 pm

    Wow, that’s a lot of whining. SF is making a lot of money from this tournament, and knowing our city, it’ll benefit the homeless more than the tax paying residents.

    • Juliette Mortimore
      August 6, 2020 at 9:17 pm


      Obviously, you are marinating in the contents, — of your own incontinence. But then, you trickle-DOWNERS have yet to let the flood-gates open, for all the world to see. — and, for the average citizen to share. And, we are waiting.
      For 40 years, since Ronald Reagan spouted that fantasy, – (Trickle -Down), that you are polluting and deluding yourself with. Eventually these rich hoarders of all things , including those things paid for with public tax dollars, – will become stagnant and toxic inside of their own entrails. The best thing about these people who don’t give a damn about ALL citizens, including the homeless ones, – is that they ALL eventually do themselves in, — as a result of their excesses.
      And, a positive side note: I was driving down SFD Boulevard in Marin County the other day. the old San Geronimo Golf Course is now transformed into natural open space, — for literally EVERYONE to enjoy. This should be the fate of some other golf courses, for Humans and animals to occupy. This is the will of the people, — being demonstrated.

  2. Quentin StJ Childs
    August 6, 2020 at 4:49 pm

    what bullshit