Why Was It So Easy For Trump Thugs To Storm The US Capitol?

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Screenshot: Fox News via Getty Images

The US Capitol building had not been breached since the British burned it down in August 1814. But thousands of shrieking, armed MAGA insurrectionists took over the Capitol building and trashed the place today, in a failed coup that we thought would be funny that ended up being a failed coup that was terrifying. Why the fuck could we not secure one of the most important buildings in the United States government?

Screenshot,: CNN via Getty Images

Just look at this screenshot from CNN from a Getty Images photo, with American lawmakers cowering on the floor. If a ragtag group of paramilitary cosplay incels can do this, I can’t imagine how we can stop the Russian, Chinese, or North Korean armies from doing this with ease.

Certainly the fact that these assholes are white plays a huge role in them not getting any initial pushback from the Capitol Police or the National Guard. Some law enforcement officers were quite chummy with the insurrectionists, helping them down the stairs in footage captured by the media.

But racism is not a good enough explanation for this. If they got into Pelosi’s and other senior lawmakers’ offices, who knows what manner of national security secrets these wingnuts could have had access to? Enemy nations’ military forces could just waltz right in, as long as they send the best and whitest. 

According to a New York Times report, part of the slow-footed response was that Trump wouldn’t call in the National Guard, so Pence had to do it. “Defense and administration officials said it was Vice President Mike Pence, not President Trump, who approved the order to deploy the D.C. National Guard,” the Times said. “It was unclear why the president, who incited his supporters to storm the Capitol and who is still the commander in chief, did not give the order. One administration official suggested that the president did not want to be seen calling out the National Guard against his own supporters.”

Capitol Police say that once the Capitol was breached, they made it their priority to protect lawmakers and their staff, That’s why it took several hours to clear the mob. But we knew this was coming, for fuck’s sake, and only 13 people were arrested. A standard Black Lives Matter protest in Oakland will routinely generate more arrests.

What’s unspoken here is much COVID-19 these maskless morons spread today. And it’s not just among themselves, that virus will spread to hundreds, if not thousands of other Americans. That damage is done, but this will hopefully be a turning point for the cops’ white-glove treatment of pro-Trump rioters.

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Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.


  1. Stephen Breen
    January 7, 2021 at 3:18 pm

    I think the defense of the Capitol went as well as we could want. The hard-line alternative would have been for the armed police to fall back to the most immediate choke-point and, with shouted warnings as the next to last action, opened fire into the advancing crowd/mob.
    A lot of gunfire in a relatively small area would have killed and maimed many and would have caused a panic in the survivors which would probably have killed more.
    The mob was obviously not organized and barely had a coherent objective. They were mostly unarmed… This was not an insurrection, it was a riot triggered by a single man who WAS attempting to cause an insurrection.
    All we can hope for now is that our congress critters, on both sides, get their asses in gear and take immediate, admittedly symbolic action, to remove the insurrectionist from office.

  2. Cadence
    January 8, 2021 at 3:04 pm

    Reasoning unfortunately doesn’t work for idiots. They’re easily manipulated emotionally and swayed by their emotions. Their feeble thought process blinded by their baseless anger and insecurity. They’re incapable of seeing through the inconsistencies/deceit offered up by their propped up religious leader.

  3. Cadence
    January 8, 2021 at 3:06 pm

    Didn’t someone show up with home made explosive?