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The 7 Funniest Products Facebook Will Reject Ads For

Updated: Aug 24, 2021 08:49
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I am not Broke-Ass Stuart. But I am one of the admins on the Broke-Ass Stuart website, and the Broke-Ass Stuart Twitter and Facebook accounts. And when you are an admin on the Broke-Ass Stuart Facebook account, you will often receive out-of-the-blue emails from something called Facebook Business with the subject line “Your Item Was Rejected,” and you will open up that email to see yet another hilarious example of the ridiculous ways Facebook bots misidentify items and thinks they are too obscene for the sensitive eyes of Facebook users to see.

Mind you, this is the same Facebook that allowed insurrectionists to organize the Capitol riots on their platform. The same Facebook that allows vaccine misinformation to be the most viewed posts on their platform, reaching more than 50 million people and killing god knows how many of them. But oh, if you use the word “nipple” in a completely non-sexual context, the bot police will ban your ad. Here are some of the most amusing and innocuous products in the Broke-Ass Stuart shop that Facebook banned from their platform. 

‘FREE THE NIPPLE’ BABY ONESIE

Listen Zuckerberg, the baby is not looking to jack it to some internet porn, the baby is just looking for a square meal. But you cannot advertise a Free the Nipple baby onesie on Facebook, even on a baby onesie, because of Facebook’s well-documented war on nipples.

‘FUCK A WRITER WORKSHOP’ T-SHIRT 

OK so back in 2014 we wrote a gag post called Why You Should Fuck a Writer. For whatever reason, a bunch of people clicked on it and thought it was funny (probably mostly writers). So we made a ‘Fuck a Writer Workshop’ t-shirt and the bots Facebook bots were not having that shit whatsoever.

OAKLAND & EAST BAY BEER PASSPORT

We’re not sure if the bots are just against the word ‘Beer,’ or if they’re against the word ‘Passport’ because it is highly triggering to anti-vaxxers. Either way, an Oakland & East Bay Beer Passport will be rejected by Facebook every time.

FELIX THE CAT “FUCK THE POLICE” T-SHIRT

We can kind of, sort of see how some people might be offended by the phrase “Fuck the Police.” But when you add a truckin’ and whistlin’ Felix the Cat on a “Fuck the Police” t-shirt, how is that not just crazy adorable?

‘DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE’ CREWNECK SWEATER

This obvious message of promoting human kindness and compassion has no place on Facebook, which will not sell a ‘Don’t Be An Asshole’ crewneck sweater.

‘BROKE AS FUCK’ T-SHIRT

The humor of this clever take on the SF Giants classic letter font logo is clearly lost on the Facebook bots.

‘WHO THE FUCK IS BROKE-ASS STUART’ HOODIE

Who the fuck is Broke-Ass Stuart? Obviously, he is some guy who does not realize Facebook won’t sell ads for garments with the word “fuck” on them, no matter how many times he tries to advertise them and inevitably gets rejected over and over again.

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.

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