Happy 80th Birthday, Bernie Sanders

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Irascible Jewish Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders sparked a movement with two presidential campaigns, threw yuuuge rallies, and whose completely cheap and unfashionable made him a memelord that just kept on giving. And the man who almost single-handedly revived the socialist movement in America has a new distinction — octogenarian.

Bernie Sanders turned 80 years young today, as he was born on September 8, 1941.

Sanders was a rabble-rouser in the 60s Civil Rights movement who was later elected mayor of Burlington, Vermont in 1980. He spent only $4,000 on his campaign. In 1990, he became the first socialist elected to the House of Representatives in decades, and was reelected to seven more terms. He ran for the Senate in 2006, won handily, and has served there ever since. 

While Sanders may be best known for his two Democratic presidential primary campaigns, neither won the nomination. But Sanders has otherwise never lost a race for public office, and he’s still fighting like hell for the Green New Deal, universal healthcare, and free college education. Even at age 80.


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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.