Dirt Bike Kids Took the Bay Bridge Hostage and Forgot the Ransom Note

Dozens of dirtbike and ATV riders overtook the Bay Bridge on Sunday, clogging the vital regional artery once again. This latest disruption comes barely a month after some eighty bicyclists shut down the bridge by riding into oncoming traffic. It is one of many rideouts where bikers, cyclists, and four-wheelers take over city streets in droves. For these allegedly clumsy riders, their strikes are surprisingly coordinated. They hide in plain sight behind helmets and the agitating spectacle of their motorbikes, thoroughly disruptive however brief their passing. 

Dear dirtbikers, the media condemns you. They see you rolling, and they hatin’ accordingly. I am not admonishing you. I won’t condemn anyone involved in these dirtbike dispatches. This isn’t a Millennial souring into middle age like some rotting gourd. Rather than squash your voice, I urge you to say something befitting its disruptive capacity. 

In other words, you’re squandering your potential and risking jail time doing it. 

First I want to address those riders and any other Hell-on-wheels rebel without a cause. Listen, Highway Patrol and police departments from both sides of the Bay really want to put you all in jail. “This isn’t over,” interim Oakland Police Chief James Beere warned in a press conference. “If you made it away yesterday, just expect a knock at your door.” Evading the cops is no easy task, and it’s becoming more difficult. Someone reportedly dove into the Bay to escape arrest (props, tbh), but police apprehended them nonetheless. Protect yourselves and your futures by making an escape plan accessible at any point in your rideout. 

I’m asking you to stop for a moment and consider what a good thing you invented. You’ve made a network of hyper-mobile, anti-state and anti-surveillance yet socially connected cells that push cops to the limits of their militarized technology. And I can’t think of a group better suited for the times. You don’t need a degree to understand that police value property over your life, you just have to see it. And given the purported multi-ethnic makeup of these dirtbike daredevils, I think they’re plenty familiar. The anger, the energy and capacity to act, it’s all there, like ingredients for a perfect storm. 

If you’re wondering why I support these “hooligans,” I’ll tell you here and now, I do not. Because right now, they don’t stand for anything but disturbing for the sake of disturbance. Their actions are undeniably annoying, and therein lies their potential. What they lack in charm, they make up for in speed and efficacy. When a swarm of bikers roars past, everyone notices. What I find most distressing isn’t their ostensibly menacing presence, like some fusion of motocross and Sons of Anarchy. It’s the absence of an obvious objective that bothers me. Is there good reason for their Mad Max-ian voyages to Nowhere In Particular I’m not aware of?

If there isn’t, I am only suggesting they adopt one worthwhile. Because if the frequency of these rideouts both here and in Los Angeles is any indicator, this is unlikely to stop. Few people seem willing to think past their discomfort to consider why someone would resort to making others uncomfortable. What if this is no different from any other cry for attention? Well dirtbikers, you got mine (zooming through my day job like you’re a paying customer!). Now, what are you going to do with it? I dare you to direct the clearly impactful effects of your disruption someplace other than into the ground.