A Huge List Of Things To Do If You’re Not Going To Burning Man
Image: Hawaii Savvy via Flickr and Michael Fraley via Flickr
Your friends’ Burning Man posts are already freaking relentless on Facebook, and you’re the sad sack who’s stuck at home. But don’t trip! There are plenty of Bay Area events if you’re not at Burning Man from August 25 – September 2, and it turns out San Francisco and Oakland bars and stores are still open regular hours the whole week. The Broke-Ass Borg has your itinerary covered with this handy list of Bay Area things to do if you’re not at Burning Man, so you don’t get FOMO while those mofos are out partying on the playa.
We’ve listed each week-of-Burning Man 2019 event chronologically by date below, with a whole bunch of Bay Area options for every day you’re not out on the playa. But if we missed any good ones, burn us on it in the comments section! We’ll radically include new suggestions as the week goes on. You can also always check the BAS event calendar for more great stuff.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 25
Free National Park Day at Muir Woods
This only happens one day a month! Entry is free at Muir Woods National Monument and San Francisco Maritime National Historical Park on Free Entrance Days. There will be more people and less parking than usual!
GodzillaFest at the Balboa Theater
Oakland Chinatown StreetFest 2019
Triple 007 Film Fest st the Castro Theatre
Cheaper Than Therapy comedy show at the Shelton Theatre
MONDAY, AUGUST 26
Zoe Jakes’ House of Tarot at Monday Night Hubba
It doesn’t get more Burner-y than Beats Antique’s Zoe Jakes and her belly dance troupe House of Tarot, performing at the upstairs of VNA Lounge for Monday Night Hubba. Admission to DeathGuild afterwards is free, though there will not be a Thunderdome.
Riffer’s Delight: Donnie Darko (Theatrical Cut) at Alamo Drafthouse
TUESDAY, AUGUST 27
Shonen Knife at the Bottom of the Hill
Japan rock girl group Shonen Knife cuts it up at Bottom of the Hill, with Me Like Bees, Greasy Gills, and Sid Presley. All ages show!
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28
There’s go-go bays galore at the strip show where you can win money at the Castro’s Moby Dick.
‘Below Sycamore’ Pre-Launch Party at the Shelton Theater
‘Blade Runner’ in honor of the late Rutger Hauer at the Balboa Theater
THURSDAY, AUGUST 29
Desert NightLife at the California Academy of Sciences
It’s like the Playa, but at a museum! There will also be mezcal tasting, bats, and bat experts.
Off the Grid Presidio Twilight
‘Bullitt’ and ‘Dirty Harry’ at the Castro Theatre
ALL CAPS Sketch Comedy at the Shelton Theater
‘3 Egos and a Mormon’ at the Shelton Theater
Cheaper Than Therapy comedy show at the Shelton Theatre
FRIDAY, AUGUST 30
Last Sunset Cruise of the year, and tickets are marked down to $55! You also get a sandwich buffet and one drink ticket.
Off the Grid: Fort Mason Center 2019
John Carpenter Fest at the Balboa Theater
‘3 Egos and a Mormon’ at the Shelton Theater
Cheaper Than Therapy comedy show at the Shelton Theatre
SATURDAY, AUGUST 31
75th Anniversary Mai Tai Celebration
There’s unlimited food and rum tasting, along with the Tikiyaki Orchestra, DJ Speakeasy Ray, luau fashion vendors, lei making, and photo booths, as Trader Vic’s in Emeryville celebrates the 75th anniversary of the franchise.
Bootie SF: Rihanna Grande vs. Everyone
Compton’s Cafeteria Riots 53rd Anniversary
Mother: Florence VS Tori Amos at the Oasis
California Independent Film Festival at the Castro Theatre
John Carpenter Fest at the Balboa Theater
‘3 Egos and a Mormon’ at the Shelton Theater
Cheaper Than Therapy comedy show at the Shelton Theatre
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
Swagger Like Us with India Sky
El Rio’s daytime queer dance party welcomes the amazing India Sky, with DJs and free BBQ.
Asian Art Museum Free First Sunday
‘Last Black Man in San Francisco’ at the Castro Theatre
Cheaper Than Therapy comedy show at the Shelton Theatre
Vegan Brews and BBQ at Seven Stills Distillery
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER
The El Rio Labor Day BBQ tradition blazes into its 17th year, with an all-day lineup of ironic and non-ironic country artists the BettyJacks, Secret Emchee Society, Moonshine Maybelline, and Lisa Marie Johnston. As with any Monday at El Rio, the Tecates are only $2.
