Someone is Renting Out a Literal Staircase to Nowhere for $900 in SF

This could be yours for $900 a month! Photo via Craigslist

At a time when local businesses are closing all over the Bay Area because they can’t afford their rent, you have to admire the chutzpah to try and rent this literal staircase to nowhere for $900 a month. This space is seriously just 75 square feet. It’s like they got bonked on the head in 2017 and woke up today not knowing that commercial vacancy is nearly 35% in San Francisco.

A reader named Sophie Robbie sent this to me because she was exhausted by the absurdity of trying to open a small business in this town.

Advertised as a “‘Doorway Opportunity’ on Bustling Union Street!” the Craiglist ad boasts, “Unique opportunity to have a small retail space in the trendy Cow Hollow District. This small space offers solid signage potential and a rare opportunity for branding in this wonderful neighborhood.”

This certainly is a “unique opportunity”. Photo via Craigslist

At first I thought this was a joke, so I went to the website for Blatteis Realty Company, the folks who either own the building or are responsible for renting it out. And lo and behold, it is in fact a legitimate listing; you can even check out the brochure right here.

Judging by the other photos in the listing, it appears that the previous inhabitant was Juice Shop, which is well…a juice shop. I’m guessing the juice they sold must’ve been created and bottled at another facility considering that this 75 square foot staircase to nowhere doesn’t have any of the necessary things to have a juice business, like say, running water.

The former tenant. Photo via Craigslist

Those of us who’ve been around San Francisco for the past decade or so, have witnessed the way commercial landlords throttled so many local businesses. This city is known the world over for its quirky uniqueness, and a lot of that reputation came about because of our small, locally owned businesses. But this kind of thing, the exorbitant prices for storefronts (or whatever the hell this thing is), is helping kill the spirit of San Francisco.

Photo via Craigslist

I hope Blatteis Realty Company and all the other commercial landlords wakeup to the fact that, a part of SF’s problems can be fixed by them simply making a little less money. Maybe they’ll realize it when no one is willing to spend $900 a month to rent this dreadful place.

But probably not.