I try to purse my cracked lips open, sputtering through the mesh of teeth and wire. At first it’s just saliva, but then the colors begin to run red. Pressing against the back of my teeth with my tongue, I try to push the refuse through what gaps I can

We’ve all been there, dude. You’re happily single, watching True Detective from a stolen source of cable, pretending the chicken in your fridge is still ok to eat, Peter Panning your way through life on a meager salary, when, BAMM! The perfect person comes along, and you’re screwed (literally and

Hooray for orgasms! Honestly, the world would be a much better place if everyone got off more. This is why I love Good Vibrations! They are all about helping you get to that oh so special place, while being hella sex positive, friendly, and informative. Basically what I’m saying is

Condoms: the best/worst things ever. They’re awesome when it comes to the whole “not getting preggers/not getting STD’s” thing, but they can also make sexy time not feel as good as it could. That said, we’re incredibly lucky have easy access to those little sheaths of latex whenever we need

Women, specifically the prospect of having sex with them, both terrified and fascinated me growing up. I would immediately volunteer myself into the friend zone because that always seemed easier than enduring the potential failure of romantic pursuits. It certainly didn’t help that I was a “dorky” kid, who was

Me: I think I’m actually going to post about being romantic. She: Now that’s something I’d like to read… People love to fit things, especially other people, into boxes. It makes sense. We understand the world through contrast and binary. If something’s not good, it’s: ______. If something’s not hot,

We all know that anything that comes out of a woman (other than relentless orgasms) is completely unnatural and disgusting. If that wasn’t the case, then jokes about it would seem hackneyed and unoriginal. But women must really like bleeding out their vag, otherwise why would they spend 11.4% of their lives