Our 10 Most Read Articles of 2022
2022 is coming to a close, so let’s take a look back at a year of journalism with our most-read articles in the categories of Satire, Social Justice, Art, Crime, Politics, Bay Culture, Bay History, Drugs, Alcohol, Service Industry, Nightlife & ‘Scandal!’ on brokeassstuart.com.
You can read any of the articles in full by clicking on their images.
We are incredibly grateful to have you as a reader, and we’ll be charging into 2023 full of optimism, vigilance, curiosity, and of course, sarcasm. We hope you’ll come with us and keep supporting independent media in the Bay.
Happy New Year, motherfuckers.
Satire (April Fools!)
You Can See the Northern Lights in SF During Daytime!
The northern lights are visible in the Bay Area sky today SF Gate also says it’s maybe happening.
Ben Burress, an astronomer at Oakland’s Chabot Space and Science Center said ,”Typically, this colorful phenomenon can only be seen in the Arctic and Antarctic regions surrounding the planet’s magnetic poles.”
But today, right now, if you go outside and look northeast, close your left eye, and stand on one foot, you can see the majestic northern lights, in all their majesty….
Bay Area Culture
UNMISTAKABLE TRAITS OF A TYPICAL BAY AREA NATIVE
Anytime I step out of the Bay Area, I’m struck with one simple fact; you can take the Bay Area native outta the bay but you can’t take away my weird Bay Area quirks. It’s fun to ask yourself “What qualities give a Bay Area native away when we are outside of our bubble?” Thinking about it, there are some strong Bay Area only traits that are unique to us. Whether you have lived here most of your life like me, or you’ve lived here for just a few years, I think you’ll relate to some traits I thought made us different than other areas of the country…
Scandal!
WHAT’S UP WITH FRANK SOMERVILLE?
Frank Somerville has had a pretty shitty year. Even by pandemic standards, fate hasn’t been kind to Frank Somerville.
So, what exactly is up with Frank Somerville? Let’s start from the beginning…
Crime
YOU’RE BEING LIED TO ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO CRIME
BY PETER CALLOWAY– DEPUTY PUBLIC DEFENDER
There’s a lot of talk right now about San Francisco crime. Almost everything you’ll read in the mainstream press is wrong. I live in the Tenderloin and work in the courts every day. Here’s my take on what’s happening and why.
Let’s start with an example of the pervasive disinformation you’ll find in so much media coverage: In a recent piece on the Tenderloin—where I’ve lived for four years, and the epicenter of the city’s homelessness and drug crises—a Washington Post journalist tells readers that crime in the neighborhood is out of control…
City Guides
THE FUN THINGS TO DO IN VALLEJO, CA
BY ALEX MAK & Photography by Vita Hewit
We took a day trip to Vallejo from San Francisco to check out all the fun places to eat, drink, and meet people. I had been to Vallejo before to partake in the world’s best Pirate Festival (where there are sword & cannon fights, thousands of costumed pirates, and even a tank full of mermaids). I’d also been to Vallejo to ride big roller coasters at Six Flags, but I’d never been to hang out downtown and explore, there’s a lot more to see than you may know.
There is a budding artists community in Vallejo, (lot’s of murals and art installations) a nice, chill, waterfront promenade, a locally famous farmers market, definitely some good eats, and great little watering holes all along the way. We did all the research for you! Below is your new day trip itinerary in ‘V-Town’, CA…
Drugs
YOU CAN NOW BUY PSYCHEDELIC PLANTS IN SAN FRANCISCO
A few months ago I was wandering around North Beach for the First Friday art crawl and bumbled into a new store called Professor Seagull’s Smartshop. As someone who really likes mind-altering substances, I was amazed to see a bunch of psychedelic plants for sale. I remember saying something to Benjamin Manton, the proprietor, like “Holy shit, is that San Pedro?”
The answer dear reader is yes, yes it was…
Service Industry
THE REAL REASONS RESTAURANTS ARE SHORT STAFFED
Unless you’ve been living under a Covid-free rock for the last 18 months you’ve probably heard there’s a serious shortage of restaurant workers in this country. It seems that after years of customers telling waiters and waitress to go get “real jobs,” that’s exactly what they did. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that 4.5 million people quit their jobs in November of last year. One million of those people were in the leisure and hospitality industry. So why are service industry workers dropping their jobs like plates of food that have been sitting under a heat lamp for three hours? The most obvious answer is because of Covid, but it’s more complicated than that….
Politics
THE NOVEMBER 2022 BAS VOTER GUIDE
Bay Area History
Here’s What It Looks Like Under Those Brick Circles In the Street
HERE’S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE UNDER THOSE BRICK CIRCLES IN THE STREET
Those mysterious brick circles you see on streets? They are cisterns — a form of ancient technology adopted after the 1906 earthquake to aid firefighting…
ART!
American Steel Artists Speak About Billionaires Evicting Them
AMERICAN STEEL ARTISTS SPEAK ABOUT BILLIONAIRES EVICTING THEM
Just 5 years after being purchased by 11-West, one of our most vibrant and imaginative artist communities in Oakland will be emptied out by this summer. The community of large scale industrial artists, fabricators, builders, and makers at American Steel in West Oakland is readying themselves for an upcoming eviction. A Portland real estate developer (worth over 4 billion dollars) named ScanlanKemperBard (SKB) has been following through with a rolling eviction after they purchased the property in September for $82.5 million in an all-cash deal…
Alcohol
America’s First Craft Brewery is in San Francisco
If you’re wondering where America’s first craft brewery is, look no further than San Francisco, CA. Not only is Anchor Brewing Co. widely credited with starting the craft beer revolution in the 1960s, they are also the brewers of America’s oldest, indigenous beer style; Steam Beer®….
Social Justice
Douglas Jordan Krah Arrested After Racist Tirade At East Bay In-N-Out
DOUGLAS JORDAN KRAH ARRESTED AFTER RACIST TIRADE AT EAST BAY IN-N-OUT
America is a stupid nation and racism is a societal symptom of this stupidity. Even on Christmas Eve, certain people seem to lack the common decency needed to shut the fuck up.
Two Korean American college students were sitting at a San Ramon In-N-Out filming a TikTok video when they were approached by Douglas Jordan Krah…
Nightlife
THE BEAUTIFUL FREAKS AT STUART’S 20TH Anniversary Party
Last night there was a party.
A party of freaks, geeks, and artists. A dance floor full of burlesque dancers, bartenders, and buskers. A crowd of cacophonists, comedians, cooks, clowns, caterers, and commies. Politicians, perverts, queers, teachers, writers, progressives, punks and every kind of beautiful San Franciscan one could hope to share a drink and a laugh with…
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