BART to Add Bars & Booze to All Commuter Trains

Updated: Apr 06, 2023 10:31
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April 1st, 2023. BREAKING NEWS – Let’s get a beer on BART!

It’s finally happening folks!  BART plans on combating budget concerns by adding dining cars with full bars and a bartender to each commuter train.

The ridership on BART has had a steep decline over the last few years with the pandemic shifting most jobs to remote. Fares make up 70% of BARTs operating budget. According to online sources, 9.79 million average monthly riders in 2019 to 3.45 million in 2022.

To help fund this new feature, BART officials reached out to tech companies. “We recognize that many tech companies have return-to-office mandates starting this year. As such, we hope to work together to increase onboard perks so that tech employees can feel more at home on board,” said BART officials, “the dining cars will be like little, boozy playgrounds for spoiled adults, that’s how you get techies to invest in public transportation.”

Recently, Amazon had over 20,000 employees sign a petition against a return to office mandate. One of the many complaints from employees is the commute. Inside the petition, employees stated that they would only come back to the office if their commute also included free snacks, drinks, and a massage therapist.

Check out BARTS’ new onboard dining menu and drink specials: BART MENU.

BART officials have said that the new dining cars will be added to older trains stating, “the floors are sticky already so we don’t need to worry about any spills on board, and instead of the old carpets model we’re adding shag carpet this time, in honor of BART’s 1970’s roots.”

Once the initial dining cars are launched, BART officials said they will be considering adding additional perks such as massage therapists, a tiki bar for the SFO line, and the ability to rent a sherpa for your commute so riders can have a stress-free ‘adventure’ where their bags are carried for them, and their cocktails are ‘customized’, for a ‘unique travel experience’.

APRIL FOOLS! We wish that this was true but maybe someday?

Love, Team Broke-Ass

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Katy Atchison

Katy Atchison

Katy is a professional smiling machine raised in The Bay Area since the age of 3. While other kids were attending summer camp & soccer practice, she was raised selling wares at craft shows with her working artist parents and spent vacations in a small 1920s Montana log cabin. This has all given her a unique perspective on the ever-changing texture of San Francisco and the Greater Bay Area. Currently a blend of all that is The Bay Area - she's a web designer at a tech-company, artist and DIY teacher.