These Delicious Sandwiches in the Tenderloin Let Me Forgive My Mother

The sandwiches at Sammie are truly healing. (Touta Baher)

BY TOUTA BAHER

Touta Baher was a child actor who was taken out of the game by Shia LaBeouf on the set of a Skippy peanut butter commercial. That traumatic incident forced him into the archaic world of poetry, where he now sits in rooms full of white people and reads poetry about how evil white people are, only to be told how amazing his work is at the end of these readings by the very white people he was just talking about. 

A satirical character by Antony Fangary.

At the edge of the Tenderloin and what rental managers call Lower Nob Hill lies Sammie Cafe, a place with sandwiches so good that I forgave my mother. This isn’t just any sandwich shop. It’s a culinary therapy session wrapped in wax paper.

As soon as you walk in, you get this tingly feeling that all your childhood problems will go away by the time you leave. The staff greets you like the family you wish you had. The coffee is fantastic. The prices are great, especially for SF, and the sandwiches are what I can only describe as emotionally healing. All of their breakfast bagels and sandwiches are $12 or under, each made with the care and love my mother never showed me. 

For breakfast, my go-to pick is the #2; it comes with sausage, egg, and Havarti cheese on your choice of bread or bagel. They stack that protein-packed breakfast sando with two thicc sausage patties, high-quality cheese with mad-pull, and a healthy portion of eggs. For lunch, I go for the Ruth Sandwich. It comes with a mountain of pastrami and turkey, medium cheddar, and all the veggies and spreads you can ask for on a proper deli sub. The fresh-cut meats and veggies will literally heal your wounds; whether generational, colonial, or familial, Sammie will nurse you back to health with coffee and food. 

The mothering I never had comes from a plush coffee. (Touta Baher)

But you’re probably wondering what I mean when I say that their sandwiches helped me forgive my mother. See, my mother left me when I was eight. My father told me it was because of me that she left to go mother a better kid up the street, one who was faster at running and didn’t talk so much. It hurt knowing the truth, but I was grateful at least my father stayed, despite the fact that there were plenty of better sons out there. 

It was hard at first. I kept wondering why my mother left me and just how fast this new kid she was mothering really was. Eventually it stopped hurting so bad and I learned to live life without her. Then, one day, I headed into a Subway for a quick sandwich. And, just as I’m about to order, I see my mother in the corner of my eyes. She was sitting with her new son, and I all the breath in my chest escaped like a popped balloon. It was that mother fucker Shia LaBeouf; he was her new son. I felt sick. He stole everything from me, my bike, my acting career, and now my mother. I didn’t even order. I couldn’t. I just ran out of Subway and cried all the way home. I called my dad and told him what I saw, but he already knew. He tried to comfort me, asked me if I had seen the movie Holes, and, if I had, maybe I could finally understand why she left. 

I hadn’t had a sandwich since. I really couldn’t. Whenever I thought about it, all I could think of was my mother’s betrayal. Then, one day, I walked into Sammie Cafe for a coffee, and I saw someone putting together one of these masterpiece sandwiches. A chill tingled down my neck, like the pastrami was calling to me, telling me that what happened with my mother was okay. I needed to move on, and I couldn’t let Shia have this much power over me. “He already stole your bike and your mom, so don’t let him take sandwiches.”

I ordered The Ruth, ate every bite, cried tears of joy and forgiveness, then went home and watched Holes.

(Touta Baher)