Fancypants Edition: Celebrity Castoffs

Thursday in New York, was a beautiful spring day, the kind that makes you remember why you moved to this town in the first place. It just feels like a picnic lunch, a dress and a light spring coat, smoking a joint on the fire escape overlooking the flowering trees and a thousand Chet Baker songs.

You know who else knows it’s spring? Gwyneth Paltrow.  Our GOOPy friend Gwyneth is aware of the return of the vernal equinox and she knows that this time of year usually means an orgy of shopping and pedicuring and body hair removal.  However, in light of The Economic Situation, this month her newsletter offers sensible, sage advice:  Shop your closet.  Otherwise known as wear what you already have.  Inspired!  It’s a profound concept, yes, but before we get on the phone with the MENSA people, there’s something else Gwyneth knows: Your closet sucks.

Gwyneth Paltrow wants to tread carefully so as no to hurt your poor person feelings, but she also knows you only have two pairs of really decent shoes, that one awesome dress that you got at the Barney’s Warehouse sale, and the rest is H&M, Urban Outfitters, Beacon’s Closet and a bunch of stuff from J.Crew from  back when your mom bought you “work clothes” after graduation. And so,  she is throwing open the (cyber) gates and offering YOU the chance to shop HER closet!!

Gwyneth says she did a “major clean out” in her closet and some stuff just had to go.  Gwyneth owned some of these items for a whole year now, so it’s time to take those black suede Proenza Schouler pumps out back and shoot them between the eyes, Old Yeller style. Unless….you step in and adopt them!

All kidding aside, the proceeds from her Ebay auction will go towards the Robin Hood Foundation, a wonderful organization that targets poverty in NYC by funding the work of various programs serving New York City’s poorest citizens.

So if your tax refund came in the mail and you’re just itching to spend it on expensive stuff that might not even fit, here’s where to do it.

(Curiously, most of the items listed here are a size 6 or 8.  Isn’t Gwyneth Paltrow like a size negative four? I don’t know. Either these aren’t actually her clothes or real women aren’t the fat cows the media makes us out to be. Hmmmm……)