What That Drake Ticket Money Could’ve Got You in the Bay Area

What could that Drake ticket money get you? (📷: Luke Zhang, musicisentropy)

I can’t stress enough that this is not a righteous, take-down article dunking on Drake. What would we do without Drake? He’s the Rupi Kaur of hip-hop, there for you when times get tough by never dealing with anything too complicated. (I did not come up with that comparison.) But as the country celebrates hip-hop’s 50th birthday, with local lyrical legends honored in the literal streets, there’s no way to justify spending $3,000 on a ticket to see Aubrey perform in San Francisco.

And that’s not necessarily his fault, nor did you necessarily spend that much money. The San Francisco Standard reports the cheapest ticket to witness Drake during his It’s All a Blur tour last Friday and Saturday started around $400 for nosebleeds and topped off in the thousands to jump around to “SICKO MODE” on the floor. It’s a part of the speculative, egregious bloodletting by Ticketmaster and the ilk. Still, for those who sneeze at a couple grand while decrying San Francisco for its lack of legit things to do in the Bay, here’s a bunch of stuff you could do with that money or far less.

Glamp it up in Mendocino

Google “Mendocino camping” and Mendocino Grove pops up straight away. It’ll cost about $700 for two nights of beachside ultra-lux living, complete with ADA-accessible tents that make Endor look shoddy. Why live in Northern California without enjoying all it has to offer? And think of all the extra fun you can have with that extra $2,300.

Cavort through San Francisco’s museums in style

It’s a hellhole here, is it? Well with the kind of pocket change one would need to hear that hotline ring, they’d also be well-positioned to traipse through San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, the Museum of the African Diaspora, the de Young Museum and the Legion of Honor, and, frankly, many more for just a few hundred bucks. An artist’s staycation, for the spiritual opposite of “Search and Rescue.”

Hit world-class Michelin restaurants

Few parts of the world boast such a high density of fine dining legends, from SingleThread in Healdsburg to Chez Panisse in Berkeley to Chez Noir in Carmel. Dinner at the priciest of these options, no doubt the three Michelin star-holding SingleThread, is $425 a head plus $300 for a wine pairing. Jimmy may cook, but Jimmy does not cook like this.

See other musical acts in the Bay

Believe it or not, but there are concerts, musicals, and plays in San Francisco all the time. Quirky alt-pop singer Benny Sings hits the Independent in September for about $25, and ultra-popular Janelle Monáe hits Bill Graham in October for just shy of $100.

What would Drizzy do? (📷: Chris Liverani)

Primo tickets at the Giants

Not far from Chase Center is Oracle Park, home to the San Francisco Giants. If you’re the type of person who saves up every penny to see a touring pop star, you’re also the type of person who’d benefit from chilling out for a second, saving a little money, and digging into local sports culture — it’s a great remedy for being annoying. You can buy the Giants’ weekend four pack to get four tickets for $29, including a drink and a hot dog.

Make your life in San Francisco better

I said it wasn’t a righteous take-down article, and I meant it. If living in the Bay is truly a doom loop waiting to happen, then use that money to make living here better however you deem fit. Order that dank pizza you love but never splurge for. Pop an edible and walk through Golden Gate Park, fog rolling down your back like yesterday’s problems and tomorrow’s drama. Buy your old friend a ticket to visit the Paris of the West. Odds are it’s about as expensive as watching Drizzy lip sync around Chase Center.