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A Christmas Miracle: No Rain On Christmas Day In The Bay

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If Santa was from The Bay.

While California should welcome the rain, as this state seems to always be on the verge of a catastrophic drought, there is some good news. Christmas day is shaping up to be dryer than Ben Shapiro’s wife.

It’s been a rainy weekend, and it looks like the showers will stick around this week. But there’s some good news for Christmas Day—no rain!

“It’ll be dry on Christmas,” said KTVU meteorologist Roberta Gonzalez on Monday morning.

Monday’s weather was mostly cloudy with some on-and-off showers. Later Monday night into early Tuesday, the National Weather Service is predicting scattered thunderstorms, lightning, strong wind gusts up to 50 mph, hail, and even a higher risk of flooding. Christmas day is going to be chill, just don’t put away your umbrella just yet—more rain is expected on Thursday.

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Everyone celebrates the holidays differently, and some of us don’t celebrate at all. This is the Bay Area, do what you want. If you’re going to be a normie and celebrate with your family by the fire, that’s fucking tight. If you watch to go to church and throw snakes around while speaking in tongues – go for it. If you want to dress like Santa and let the Grinch butt fuck you through a glory hole at a bathroom stall in the Castro, more power to you.

If you like it, we love it.

Whatever your outdoor plans may be, the weather is on your side. There’s going to be overcast, but San Francisco has always shined brightest with an ever-present marine layer. It’s going to be what I call “gloomy gorgeous.” It’s the fucking best. Everything is damp, but it’s not raining, there’s always a bit of fog sitting atop Twin Peaks. When you explore the city’s scenic streets, Christmas lights line the homes, menorahs sit on window sills with a single candle lit. It’s fucking lit. I like it. The Muslims don’t celebrate anything on December 25th, but fuck the State Department, you guys deserve gifts too.

Happy Holidays, San Francisco.

I love you.

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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, BrokeAssStuart.com. His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!