A love letter from the internet
So this is the email I got the other day from a guy named Todd:
vile low dirty nasty hetero narcissistic self-aggrandizing ugly inferior overweight squalid disgusting vicious homophobic cunt.
GAY PRIDE WORLDWIDE 365 DAYS A YEAR. TOMORROW BELONGS TO US. NOT BIGOTS LIKE YOU.
Vile? Not Really. Low? Occasionally. Dirty? More like foul mouthed. Hetero? Can’t help it, I was born that way. Narcissistic? Absolutely. Self-aggrandizing? Yeah, I’m the shit. Ugly? I’ve seen worse. Inferior? To whom? Overweight? I call it a beer belly. Squalid? When left to my own devices, yes. Disgusting? In a charming sort of way. Vicious? Almost never. Homophobic? Come on dude, I’ve got the gayest family in the world. Cunt? Sure, why not?
Honestly Todd, if you’ve read anything I’ve ever written and not picked up on the immense amount of sarcasm and tongue & cheek humor, maybe reading is just not your thing. Seriously man, chill out and laugh a little; the world is a funny place.