Dude Style: Men of the Oscars

The spectacle of the Oscars is just as much about what people wore, as it was about who actually won. Everyone has their best and worst dressed lists and it’s all about the ladies. Who wore what gown, what shoes, blah blah blah. While I enjoy snarky comments about ruffles just as much as the next girl, I want to shift our focus on the dapper stylings of the dudes. It was almost impossible to find more than 10 photos of men on the red carpet, it took some serious digging through Getty Images to see what the gents were sporting last night. And while most didn’t stray from your classic penguin suit, there were some risk takers in the bunch. Guys have it lucky, they don’t need a team of make-up people, stylists and Rachel Zoe’s life blood to look good. For once, let’s shift our focus away from lithe ladies of the Oscars and see who brought their A game and fake tanner to the red carpet.

Biggest P.I.M.P

Granted the two ladies on Morgan Freeman’s arm are his daughter and Invictus producer, Lori McCreary, so perhaps the pimp label is inappropriate, but STILL, look at that pose! And the glove, he doesn’t even need to channel Michael Jackson because he was probably sporting the one glove look way before Jackson was still black.  And unlike Kanye, Mr.Freeman can pull off the sunglasses on the red carpet look without looking like a complete douche. I also didn’t realize until now that his daughter’s name is Morgana. It takes some balls to pretty much just name your kids after yourself and just throw on an ‘A’ at the end, so the pimp label stays.

The Renaissance Man

Designer, sexpot, and now director, Tom Ford has it going on. Truth be told, I’ve never actually heard the man speak and I like it better that way. I don’t want words, and his affinity for men, get in the way of our love affair. Of course a world leading designer isn’t going to muck up his red carpet style, he just sets the bar a little higher with a sharp cut suit and corsage-type accessory. While I haven’t started my Jon Ham/Tom Ford fan fiction just yet, I’m well on my way to becoming a full blown fruit fly.

About A Boy

Hey if Molly Ringwald can show up at the Oscars, why can’t Less Than Zero? RDJ brought his best hipster in a suit look, but if anyone can pull that shit off, he can. Even when he’s 65, people will still refer to him as that plucky young man. Some dudes will wear sneakers with everything. Colored glasses always have the potential to veer into Bono territory, but luckily they’re not wrap around raver style. Only RDJ has the ability to make big budget action hero movies and the red carpet seem a little less forced than they would be. God bless him, and as my Mom would say, don’t do drugs!

Grizzly Man

Is this what happens after you’ve done one too many Shrek movies? When I saw Melanie Griffith aka permanent sour face walk by on the red carpet, I thought to myself, she must be feeding off her husband’s life force to keep her youthful face. I know it’s hard for celebrities to age in the public eye but Antonio Banderas is channeling the Pablo Escabar in a retirement home in South Beach look, too hard. I’m sure they’re slave drivers over on the set of Puss in Boots, but would it kill you to break out the straight razor once in awhile? I understand hiding behind the beard now that your long Spanish locks are gone, but really it just acts as a toupee for your face. Men have the advantage to age more gracefully than women. Own it.

Boy, You’ll Be a Woman Soon

Not being a 13 year old girl, I find it hard to understand the appeal of Zac Efron. I know the youngins like girlish look, but to me he will forever resemble Peter Pan. This reminded me of a recent Gawker article cataloging the unique hair styles of young Hollywood. Not just famous people, but people that live there in general. They just can’t help but give everyone Anime haircuts that end in pointy crests. Zac, I loved you in Hairspray, but this is not prom and those Crest white strips are not meant to be slept in.