EATING HEALTY! My New Year’s resolution to be a healthier lady (and, in turn, gain the body of a young Cindy Crawford) is going pretty well.  I joined a CSA, started chewing Trident Tropical Twist (the best gum in the world) instead of chocolate-covered pretzels while watching my beloved Hoarders,

Pretty soon it’ll be too late for New Year’s resolution references (if it isn’t already), so I better use them all up while still appropriate. New Year’s Resolution No. 3:  Appear devastatingly attractive to members of the opposite sex.  For mating purposes, obvi.  This is a purposefully open-ended resolution that