from the Desk of Oliver Hartman - Resident Bargain Whorespondent
Let me just say I could never live in Yonkers because just saying the name makes me think of the Phillies’ mascot Phanatic. However, despite my thoughts, fresh units in a new urban living space 66Main are being pushed at a â€œFabulously Frugalâ€ Open House on March 4th. I’m sure these spanking new, characterless adult dorms will really draw the frugal crowd. If you care about granite and marble counter tops I’d use another adjective to brand the shit out of my event.
I’ll probably check it out just to get off the rock and have a minor adventure (flask + MetroNorth). After all, there will be fancy free drinks and food samples to be had. Plus, when else would I go to fucking Yonkers. Oh, did mention you can win a free flat screen. How? It’s easy. Just fill-out a lease application form, wait to be approved, and sign a lease and when you move in it will be on the wall.
Ok, I’m not signing shit. I’ll keep my air mattress, thank you very much. But I’ll play it cool and talk about â€˜strategic capital funds’ and ask about the garage’s parking so I can maybe win the $66 outfit purchased from thrift stores by the Frugal Fashionista. Frugal? It must be plated in gold.
March 4th 6-9pm