NY: D**k slap Friday the 13th before it goes limp on St. Patty’s Day

It’s time to get over Friday the 13^th. I mean, the blood, from the 'œth'? Seriously? Not scary. Worse still is that the movie that launched the craze is anti-sex. Puritanical Mrs. Voorhees hasn’t forgiven two counselors who had blissful, transcendental sex while her son Jason drowned nearby. Years later, she returns to Camp Crystal to celebrate the Jason’s underwater anniversary by hacking randy counselors while they are in the midst of something sexual: sex, strip monopoly, or simply being the obligatory scantily clad hussy.

A healthier approach is to embrace sex. And play with some sweet sex toys (flop around some dildos, bobbles some beads, ya know), which is what you can do at Babeland tonight while you get edumacated at their free 'œHow to Please Your Woman/Man' workshop. You can also practice being more seductive while you scarf free treats. There are gift bags for the desperate 25 first shows and discount tickets for the 3-D Disco Dolls in Hot Skin, a 70’s porn that would make Voorhees’ blood boil. This will probably also be the last chance to get some before green beer renders your junk useless for the weekend, so jump on it.

Where: Babeland (94 Rivington)

When: 7:00 pm