Beneath the Streets

I am prone to Stockholm Syndromey-ness.  No matter how terrible the situation:  bad relationship, high school, a miserable temp job, living arrangement, &c, when it’s over I am doomed to remember only the wonderful things about it and forgot why I hated it.   Such has been the case with the MTA and the subway since I moved to Boston a week ago. I was back this weekend for people’s birthdays and general merry-making and oh, did the memories come flooding back.It is possible when one removes oneself from NYC for a even a short period of time, to forget the joys and sorrows of subway travel.  Like say, the aesthetic:

For example, here is an NYC subway station:

And here is the interior of the Rivoli stop at the Metro in Paris:

I found myself in many different  NYC train stations over the course of the weekend and have compiled a sort of greatest hits list. Each subway station is great for getting around, sure, but each one has its own special personality. Read on for my “fave 5” and find out where YOU should be commuting!  Who knows you could end up splitting a pineapple and anchovy pizza with Splinter, Donatello and Raphael!

1. Broadway/ Lafayette B/D/F/V

Best Place To: Inhale the intoxicating aroma of subway sanitizer as it courses in soapy puddles down the stairwells during the nightly hose-cleanings.

Worst Place To:Need to sit down.  There are like, two benches in the whole station and allegedly both have had bedbugs.

2.  West 4th Street B/D/F/V

Best Place To: Experie the fun of Heat Stroke! I’m not really sure what it is about the orange line trains, but some jackhole (probably that Robert Moses !) decided that they should all be in the very bowels of the subway station, just a hairsbreadth away from the core of the earth!

Worst Place To: Have working olfactory senses.

3.  L Train: Bedford Stop

Yeah it’s almost too easy but life is what it is.

Best Place To: Hang around with this guy!

Worst Place To: Feel, love, solidarity or compassion for your fellow New Yorker.

4. 34th Street Penn Station- Any train at all

Best Place To: Learn to deeply, deeply hate everyone who has ever commuted into this city

Worst Place To: Not get your foot run over by a wheelie cart, hear terrible terrible music.

5. Clark Street Station – 2/3

Best Place To: Fear for your very life as you are left with no choice but to take that weird, scary rape elevator (Rapevator) down to the platform.

Worst Place To: Need to be on time.  Something about the latitude, longitude or cosmological construction of this station guarantees that no matter what time of day you are there, or where you are going, at least 3 trains that you DON’T need will show up before the one you do.