Anna G’s Best of Overheard In NY

If you don’t know about Overheard in New York, you clearly have a job that isn’t boring as shit.  However, even if you do have a real job where you do stuff, you should really consider taking a stop here on the LAUGH train-o-Internet for this, amIright!?  Here are my all-time favorites:

1.  Hobo and Windex

[The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other]
Hobo: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?
[He sprays the windex]
Hobo: Or Spring?
[He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube]
Japanese Girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.

2. 5th Avenue & 9th St

Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.

3. Astoria-bound N Train Inspiration

Conductor: Never give up on life.  Keep hope alive.  This is 30th Avenue.

4. 6th Ave & 17th St.

Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you’re a pirate.
Woman wearing bandana: No. I’m just a lesbian.

5. Well, they’ve got to relieve the stroller congestion somehow

Small child in stroller: Mommy, why did you wake me up? Don’t wake me up when I’m sleeping!
Mom: Fine. I’ll leave you on the train and you can miss your stop and then the rats will get you.

6. Wise Woman in Union Square

Woman on cell: When sex turns into math, you’ve got trouble on your hands.

7. Hobos are the best

Suit on cell: If he doesn’t get me the fucking money, I’ll kill that bitch!
Hobo: How about you give me some money, and I’ll kill that bitch?

8. Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza

Guy on cell: Um, I think I just saw Tony Danza ride past me on roller blades.
Tony Danza: Yeah, ya did!