Broke-Ass of the Week

Broke-Ass of the Week – Sigmund Amadeus Werndorf

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Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude.  Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit'probably not.

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This man has the best name ever!

This man has the best name ever!

Sigmund Amadeus Werndorf has to be one of the coolest names I’ve ever heard.  It sounds like dude should have a breed of dogs named after him and only wear purple velvet slippers.  If that was my name I’d get it stitched on to all my clothing and make everyone only call me by my full name.  I’d be like, “Bitch, my name is Sigmund Amadeus Werndorf.  What’s yours?”

But our friend Sigg here is far more humble than than I would be with such a regal sounding name.  He accepts FREE Starbucks pastries from strangers on the bus and like myself is a huge fan of the Irish Breakfast.  At 19 I think he’s the youngest Broke-Ass of the Week we’ve had so far.  Let’s see what he’s got to say.

Name: Sigmund Amadeus Werndorf

Age: 19

Occupation: Student/Bussboy/Barback/Secretary/Receptionist

What neighborhood do you live in?: Ingleside

Best money saving tip: Make friends with someone who works at Starbucks, preferably someone who closes. Generally Starbucks has tons of leftover food at the end of the day and usually they just throw it out. If you can get your friend to snag it, you can get shockingly large piles of free food! This method probably works for a number of other places, but I’ve recieved food from strangers on the bus four or five times in the last year, and every time its been Starbucks leftovers.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Water. Seriously, San Francisco has the best tap water in the fucking country. Why anyone would spend money on bottled water or even a filtration system is beyond me.

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: Probably my bag. Latigo leather, hand crafted for me by a mad professor in North Carolina, it cost me $230. It’s of the ‘indestructible, carry anything, you’ll never need another bag’ style, so I felt justified.

How’d that feel?: The process of getting it is really too long to go into here, but it took over a year and a lot of effort, so when I finally got the damn thing I felt victorious.

Favorite cheap eat: Irving Cafe. It’s this tiny little greasy spoon diner by Irving and 10th. For about six dollars you can get a Denver omlet the size of your head with amazing breakfast potatoes to match. It’s the perfect ‘Chinese doing American diner food’ place.

Favorite dive bar: At 19 I find bars far more trouble then they’re worth, so I’ll say my favorite bar is a little liquor store in West Portal. They’re…. Non discriminatory, if you follow my meaning.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: My current ‘apartment’ (and by apartment I mean cave like room behind a garage) lacks several things, but primarily, it has no closet. I really didn’t want to shell out for some hideous Ikea box to store my clothes in, so I popped over to the Alameda flea market and scored a massive vintage steamer trunk, lined with beautiful green paisley fabric and with built in hanging rack and drawers. Got it for forty five dollars.

Favorite free thing to do: The random free art openings, book readings, concerts, and shows that are sprinkled through out this entire city every night. I guess you could call it ‘amateur entertainment’.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Probably a seat in the Senate.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: Of course! Things are too easy when you have enough money.

Do you own my book?: Hell yea. It was one of the first things I bought when I moved up here.

Best hangover cure: A full on, traditional Irish breakfast. Nothing drives out the hangover better then three kinds of meat, three kinds of carbohydrates, and no fruit or vegetables.

Are you a hipster?: I only wear American Apparel.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.