The Case for Doc Martens

If I’m not mistaken, I’m pretty sure the dress code for my bar mitzvah party was flannel and Doc Martens. You must remember that this was how all self respecting teenagers dressed in 1994; I wasn’t being silly or ironic when I declared this dress code, it’s what was considered casual wear back then. I’m a casual wear kind of guy.

Recently I saw an ad for Doc Martens and I thought to myself, Hey, Doc Martens are “coming back”. Now I officially feel old. But the thing is, we’re at this weird point in history where everything that has been done before is kinda fetishized. It’s like people can’t seem to find meaning in the modern world, so they pilfer from the past, borrowing from a time where the clothes that people wore kinda, almost meant something.

Anyway, I’m not gonna get into a whole sociological diatribe here, but I am going to say I think buying a pair of Doc Martens is a good plan. Look, I know right now you’re like, “Wait a minute, what have you done with Broke-Ass Stuart? You must be an alien who has taken over his body because the BAS I know would never recommend buying $120 shoes.” And you’re right, normally I’d scoff at something so pricey, but seriously, have you ever owned a pair of Docs? They last for fucking ever!I literally had a pair of them from junior high until I was about 21, and the only reason I got rid of them was because the rats in my storage area (long story) ate the soles off. Seriously, they ate my fucking Doc Martens. They ate through the rubber sole, through the leather on the bottom, and all the way to the piece of metal used in the shoe for support and structure. But that’s my point, these shoe are so good that RATS WILL EAT THEM.I mean I doubt they ate it for food, they probably chewed up the pieces and used them in their nests.

Long story short, I think I’m gonna buy some new Docs because my current rain shoes look like I stole them from a homeless guy. No really, they have duct tape on them and ugly stains. Shit, I might even spring the extra $30 and get the ones that have a lifetime guarantee.They will repair them for your entire life. Actually, truth be told, I’m just gonna go look for a pair of Docs in a thrift store. Maybe I can score a pair for like $40.