FREE Knowledge – One More Reason Sarah Palin is Dumb

As someone who is a broke-ass namely because of my outrageously expensive student loans, the recent protests surrounding education funding are hitting really close to home.  What makes this even harder to swallow is watching people in the news like Sarah Palin misspeaking and subsequently subverting the meaning of things that I paid out of my ass to learn about.

I’m not talking about any of Sarah Palin’s political stances, even though most of them are so fucking stupid it’s unreal.  What I’m referring to specifically is her recent dialogue concerning Rush Limbaugh, where she okayed his use of the word “retard” on his show because he was using “satire.”

Hey girl! Howza 'bout I lend you some knowledge?

Oh my god, Sarah Palin.  No.  This is not satire.  I paid thousands of dollars for a bachelors in Literature, and I find this abuse of a literary definition wholly unacceptable.  Honestly, I find this more offensive than hearing her talk about really anything.  It’s one thing to use your giant dunce hat as a megaphone to broadcast your bullshit political and social ideologies, but use the right fucking words while you’re doing it.

Satire, in brief, is when you use sarcasm or irony to shed light on something shitty.  The idea is that poking fun at this shitty thing make people realize it sucks and then they will want to improve it.  It took me almost $50,000 and four years at a university to learn that, and now here it is laid out to you for FREE.  You’re welcome.

Here’s why Rush Limbaugh’s diatribe was not satire:
1. As usual, he was making no conclusive point about anything.
2. His stabs at liberals and mentally retarded people and whoever else he was trying to stick it to were not ironic or sarcastic; it was just him attempting to be insulting.

A lot of people make this latter mistake of using harsh and/or crude language to build a satirical argument.  This is a really easy mistake to make when you have people like Sarah Palin using it loosely – because even though she’s proven herself to be a completely incompetent human being – we still assume that she attained a high enough level of an education to be able to use words correctly.  I speculate that maybe Sarah Palin misunderstood the definition of satire because her entire life is a shit show that people make fun of all the time.  Unfortunately for her, her fucked up personal and political life being treated like a joke on virtually every media outlet is another example of what satire isn’t.  But anyway, now you know exactly what satire means, so when retards like SP and Rush Limbaugh pass off their bullshit babbling as some quasi-intellectual food for thought, you can say, “Shut the fuck up and invest in a fucking pocket dictionary!”  (Not to assume you weren’t doing this anyway.)

The good news is that a lot of attempts at satire turn into really good parodies.  Here’s a personal SP stab favorite from Youtube.  And for comparison, this is SP satire.

On a parting note, I’d like to go on the record and say that I think it’s fine for Rush Limbaugh to ream people with mental disabilities because only retarded people take his retarded show seriously.  Thoughts?