Something About Elevators

Elevators, like cars and airplanes, fall under the particular subsection of modern inventions I call “the dangerous necessities.” These are things that, by their most basic nature are immensely hazardous while somehow being both tolerated and embraced. Airplanes, for example, have a habit of plummeting from the sky, killing everything both below and within them. Similarly automobiles are essentially bombs on wheels, driven by maniacs and inattentive cell phone fanatics.

But we’re going to focus on elevators here because of one particular thing: Our intense tendency to fantasize about them.

Similar to the proverbial Sexy Pizza Delivery Sex Romp, the popular fantasy of the plummeting elevator is both rare and improbable. Urban legends and films like 2010’s Devil, however, have perpetrated and inflated the image of the elevator as something inherently prone to disaster. This in turn has made our elevator rides feel more exciting while still remaining at the same level of monotony.

There is a positive correlation between the relative tedium of an action and the likelihood that we will daydream about it. Elevators are an intensely Y-axis-oriented contraption: They go up, and down, but rarely side to side (unless you are Willy Wonka or something). This makes them awfully dull to ride in – unless, that is, they decide they want to go up or down more quickly than usual. That would be a more exciting event, surely, but also one that would result in death. That ultimately makes it an event better suited for fantasizing. Which is exactly what we do.

Of course, it doesn’t help that we are often trapped in elevators with multiple strangers, rubbing shoulders, sharing oxygen, and exchanging uncertain, brief glances. The other half of the elevator fantasy is the unfolding story of interaction between an elevators animate bodies. Someone could be dangerous, or perhaps loud, or maybe just prone to flatulence. The significance of these things is multiplied and compounded by the small space afforded by the elevator, which allows us no escape. These people could become friends, but we more often imagine them enemies. That’s the fun of it.

Elevators exist to transport us, but we often use them to transport ourselves. That’s because elevators are like most things we encounter from day to day. Immensely boring, they are literally suspended above an abyss of excitement, and all it takes is the snap of a few cables to bring the elevator experience to a whole new level of excitement. Now which button do we press?

image courtesy of NightRPStar on Flickr.

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