Your Home Bar, Part V of V: The Proof Is in the John Collins

Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of my home bar tutorial! This means you’ve got the ingredients, the tools, and the know-how to build your liquor cabinet and entertain imbibing guests — or just yourself! So now you can reap the rewards: HUGE SAVINGS! Plus nobody will throw you out of your own home for being wasted! I told you that you’d save money by drinking at home rather than at bars, so now I have to prove it. I’m going to list my favorite drinks, how I’d make them (cost will vary based on how strong you like your drinks and what liquor you use), what they’d cost on average at a bar without any kind of special promotion (e.g., happy hour) in effect and not including tip, what they’ll cost to make at home per drink, and how much you save (N.B. I had to do a lot of research and math to figure these out, so forgive me if any of these figures are a tad off):

Soon, this could be your life!

Whiskey sour: glassful of ice + 1 shot Jameson + sour mix

• Bar: $8
• Home: $0.95
• You save: $7.05, or 88%

Cape Cod: glassful of ice + 1 shot well vodka + cranberry juice

• Bar: $6
• Home: $0.89
• You save: $5.11, or 85%

Greyhound: glassful of ice + 2 shots well vodka + grapefruit juice

• Bar: $6
• Home: $0.90
• You save: $5.10, or 79%

Gin and tonic: glassful of ice + 1 shot Tanqueray + tonic water

• Bar: $9
• Home: $2.07
• You save: $6.93, or 85%

Pina colada: a shit-ton of ice + Mr. and Mrs. T’s Pina Colada Mix (high five for laziness!) + 1 shot Malibu (you’ll need a blender)

• Bar: $10 (extra charge for inconveniencing the bartender)
• Home: $2.27
• You save: $7.73, or 77%

Martini: glassful of ice + 1 shot Tanqueray + a few drops of vermouth

• Bar: $9
• Home: $1.40
• You save: $7.60, or 84%

Margarita: glassful of ice + salted rim + 2 shots well tequila + 1 shot triple sec + juice of 1 lime

• Bar: $6
• Home: $1.73
• You save: $4.27, or 71%

Glass of cabernet sauvignon: 1 bottle of Charles Shaw wine

• Bar: $6
• Home: $0.50
• You save: $5.50, or 92%

Shot of Wild Turkey: 1 bottle of Wild Turkey

• Bar: $8
• Home: $0.50
• You save: $7.50, or 94%, plus any pride you have left

Now you are ready, young, alcoholic grasshopper, to unleash your mad mixology upon the world and drink more cheaply— and more often — than ever before! Good luck, drink responsibly, never drink and drive, and like that. Most important, have fun!