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Ay, Mateys, It Be International Talk Like a Pirate Day Yet Again

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Ahoy, ye limey wenches! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. If ye be livin’ ‘neath a rock fer the past decade or so, this annual holiday be a jolly excuse not only to talk like a pirate but also to dress and act like a pirate. But avast, mateys, for there are few official “events” celebratin’ this very day in the big cities, so it’s time to make yer own fun! Here be some additional ways to avoid lookin’ like a landlubber:

Play the parrrt: Highlight that lack of hygiene, me hearties. Accessorize with gold, and swash yer buckles. Add a “Silver,” “Bloody,” or “Mad” prefix to yer name. Scurvy also be fashionable today. Have fun with it. Ye could plan yer own costume parrrty!

Dirty Pirate Popsicles: Shiver me timbers! Cook up a batch of these frozen treats if ye dwell in sweltering climes.

Score a date: Here be a list of the top 10 pirate-hooker pickup lines. Me personal favorite: “Parrrdon me, but would ye mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?”

Drink: Be it rum, grog, or swill, there be no pirates without a yo-ho-ho or two. Hoist a few pints to yer ship, even if she went to Davey Jones’s Locker long ago.

Photo credit: International Talk Like a Pirate Day’s Facebook page

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Sarah M. Smart - Red-Light Special

Sarah M. Smart - Red-Light Special

Sarah M. Smart was summoned into being on a distant ice cream planet
through an unholy union of Two-Buck Chuck and unicorns. They sent her to Indianapolis and then the University of Missouri's School of Journalism
to spread peace and big hair. Perpetually in mourning for the comma, she
has worked for a variety of print media, including Indianapolis
Monthly
, Global Journalist, and Vox. Since moving
to San Francisco for the booming dumpster-diving scene, she has been an
online operative for such fine folks as Horoscope.com , Neo-Factory, and
Academy of Art University. After a day of cat-feeding, hat-making,
dog-walking, vegan baking, and daydreaming about marrying rich, all she
wants is a margarita as big as her face.