Broke-Ass of the Week

Broke-Ass of the Week – Comedian Marcella Arguello

Updated: Aug 06, 2011 11:18
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Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude.  Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit — probably not.

Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week?  Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.

Too lazy to shoot hoops and too tall to model, our broke-ass of the week, Marcella Arguell0, stands at over 6 feet.  Although she may be taller than most dudes, the only thing more intimidating than her height is her comedy.  The recipient of the 2009 MAMA Award for Best Comedian, Marcella mixes a combination of genuine reason with a sexy suggestion of street.  Catch her on Friday, July 29 at The Dark Room as part of SF’s Snob Theater!

Name: Marcella Arguello

Age: 26

Occupation: Stand-up comedian

What neighborhood do you live in?: I pretty much stay on the freeway. The 99 and the 5 are my only friends.

What are you listening to these days?: Destiny’s Child. I know I’m supposed to say something cool like MF Doom instrumentals or Feist meets The Beatles mix tape or something, but it’s just not true. I’ll get in my car, blast DC the entire drive until I get to where I’m pulling up to and change it to some classy shit like Billie Holiday or Dinah Washington, so everyone’s like, “Wow, Marcella’s really sophisticated.” But in my car, I am…Sasha Fierce.

Best money saving tip: Cooking. I don’t understand people who think cooking is so magical. It makes me distrust their ability to follow directions; they probably believe in wizards, too. Basically, people who can’t cook make the worst friends.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Water. Seriously, what the fuck?

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: My 2009 Toyota Corolla.

How’d that feel?: Terrible.

Favorite cheap eat: In San Francisco there’s this sushi place on Geary near Arguello (easy to remember, obviously). The sushi is good, but the best part is that they give you free green tea, miso soup, seaweed salad and ice cream. How dope is that? Otherwise, I just make pupusas.

Favorite dive bar: Palm Gardens in Modesto, CA. God rest its soul. They use to have grimy-ass hip hop shows and the cheapest drimks and the creepiest bar tenders; it was really the best time ever.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: I don’t know about “best,” but once I did a 3-minute stand up set and got paid in a brand new Flip Camera and soul food.  That was kinda tight. And this weekend I found free parking near a dope (and free) museum – The Annenberg Space for Photography – and had a nice time there. Once, I made fun of a Pepsi delivery guy and he laughed and gave me 2 free bottles of soda. And a couple summers ago I found the cutest white eyelet vintage dress for one dollar at a thrift store. Shit like that makes my toes curl.

Favorite free thing to do: Hang out with my little nieces and nephews. They have awful taste in music and are pretty dumb — it makes me feel really good about myself!

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Cupcakes and unicorns.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: Yes, but my diary would imply otherwise.

Do you own my book?: I read it in a library once. Libraries are the new 20. Or however that saying works.

Best hangover cure: Vomiting and crying until you can find the strength to get Jack in The Box.

Are you a hipster?: Probably.

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Christy Jovanelly - Cheapskate Commentator

Christy Jovanelly - Cheapskate Commentator

When Christy announced she was leaving her family's Southern California home and moving to San Francisco, her mom said, "Have fun in that den of sin." This is the only (however sarcastic) advice Christy has ever taken from her mom, who also told her to join and cover her eyes during sex scenes in movies. Christy puts her creative writing degree to good use by locating the typos on Chinese food menus and spends most of her time challenging friends to all-you-can-eat contests and trying to get that one bartender at Zeitgeist to smile.