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Trump’s New Impeachment Lawyers Aided Jeff Epstein, Bill Cosby Cases

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Images: Dept. of Justice, Jell-O Pudding Pops

Trump’s second impeachment trial starts next week, and it was an eventful weekend of hilarious Trumpian stupidity on that front. On Saturday night, CNN reported that all of Trump’s lawyers up and quit on him, because they were unwilling to go along with Trump’s insistence on the demonstrably bullsh!t charges that the election was stolen from him. Then on Sunday, Trump hired two new lawyers who have connections to the criminal sexual assault defenses of  — Hey-o! — Jeffrey Epstein and Bill Cosby. 

Let’s begin with new Trump attorney David Schoen. According to CNBC, “Schoen also reportedly met with accused child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein on Aug. 1, 2019, days before Epstein’s death in New York’s Metropolitan Correctional Center. Schoen was considering whether to become Epstein’s lead attorney.”

That shit of course came to a complete halt nine days later, after Epstein’s completely fishy “suicide.” In the immediate aftermath, Schoen told the Atlanta Jewish Times that “I don’t believe it was suicide.” and “I think someone killed him. I don’t like to speculate. I’m not a conspiracy theorist.” But he is now representing a conspiracy theorist in Trump, after his hopes of defending Jeffrey Epstein for the alleged abuse and/or trafficking of 36 young girls.

And we have a similar assault-enabling piece of work in Trump’s other new impeachment lawyer Bruce Castor, Jr. NBC Philadelphia points out that “Castor also gained notoriety during the sex assault trial for Bill Cosby. Castor declined to arrest Cosby in 2005 after a lawsuit was filed against him by Andrea Constand,” back when Castor was District Attorney in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. Cosby was eventually tried and sentenced in 2018.  

Trump’s Senate impeachment trial is scheduled to begin Feb. 9. There has been no comment this far from Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene on Trump being represented by space-laser shooting Jews.

 

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.

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